I'm new here...
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 02-10-2006 - 7:06pm |
Hi everyone, my name is Sandra, I'm a 37 y.o. mother of two teenagers. I was just diagnosed with rapid-cycling bipolar disorder. I lost 25% of my body weight over the last 6 months, but ALL medical tests come up completely normal, so the doctors are attributing this to bipolar. I definitely have all of the symptoms, and I cycle back and forth very quickly, sometimes within a day. I cannot be placed on lithium or depakote or any of the typical drugs b/c my health is very poor due to the weight loss (I am down to 88 lbs), and they are concerned about my declining potassium levels. Tonight I will start Zyprexa and Remeron. During the day I can take Klonopin for panic attacks.
I used to post to the Trying to Conceive board. I have been in a relationship for several years with a man with whom I would like to have a child. We both have children from previous marriages, but hoped to share the experience together before we got too much older. Now, with this diagnosis, I am devastated. I don't see how i could ever safely conceive a child or be pregnant while being on psych meds, and if I don't take the meds, I'm completely a wreck.
Any insight, or similar experiences that any of you could share would be greatly appreciated. I don't have anyone to talk to about this because there is such a social stigma attached to it, and people just don't understand.
Thanks for reading, if you made it this far!
xoxo,
Sandra

Pages
Sandra.
Welcome to the board, I'm glad you found us.
Marci,
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. You are so right about others' perception of what we go through--the "just snap out of it" attitude. My significant other says things to me like, "why are you so negative? would don't you think more optimistically?" To make matters MUCH worse, he is an MD, so even though his specialty is NOT psych., you would think he would know enough about brain chemistry to understand that I CANNOT just make it go away. And do people actually think we WANT to feel depressed?
So there have been other women on these boards who have managed to have heatlhy pregnancies? Did they have to go off of their meds? If anyone out there is reading this and knows about this matter, please let me know. I'm curious as to whether there is any hope left of planning a child.
I just woke up from my first night of Remeron and Zyprexa, and I feel like I just came out of a coma. They really knocked me for a loop!
Well, here's hoping I gain some weight. I'll gladly take anyone's extra lbs.! I have people staring at me and saying things like, "Don't you eat?" or "Are you anorexic?" My self-esteem has really deteriorated. I want to look like a woman again, and not shop in the children's section of the clothing stores.
Thanks again, Marci. You're a sweetheart.
xoxo,
Sandra
it's also possible to go thru pregnancy successfully while bp if you have a compassionate dr. who will help you thru it.
you have plenty of time.what matters most now is getting yourself well & getting physically healthy again.
welcome
Hi,
Thanks for the encouragement. I hope the Zyprexa does fatten me up! I want my curves back!
Once I get settled on the meds, I guess I'll talk to the docs about options and possibilities about whether conceiving is feasible.
Thanks for you input. The support on this board is already so encouraging. You are a great bunch of people.
Sandra
Sandra,
Welcome!!! I understand what you are talking about when you said that you wanted another baby. My dd is or will be 10 in April and for the past 2.5 yrs I to have been wanting another baby. The one thing that pdoc and tdoc said is that it would not be good to bring a baby into the situation without first getting stable and being stable for awhile. Both did tell me that the only drug I could take while preg is haldol(sp), but in talking to my ob/gyn there are a few different drugs safe to take. I guess what I am trying to say is first get STABLE and better physically then if you still want to have another child go for it. You need to take care of YOU first. I hope that I have been some help.
cyndi
Cyndi
Thanks Cyndi,
I was thinking that, too--to give it some time to get myself stabilized, then ask an OB/GYN what THEY consider to be safe. They know better than the pdocs in this case, I suppose.
Now I have my significant other questioning how I can manage a baby if I'm such a wreck that I need heavy sedation just to get through a day. I try to explain to him that babies bring joy, and that my illness is just a small part of what I am. I am also compassionate and nurturing, and have managed to raise my teenagers to be the well-adjusted, successful honor students that they are. He is an MD, and even HE does not understand this disorder. I'm so frustrated with his and my parents' attitudes, I want to tell them all to **** off.
I'm SO GLAD I found this message board. You're all so awesome. Thank you.
xoxo,
sandra
If dh is a doctor he should have the books or know where to get the books that will explain BP to him. As for the baby I have been told that once you deliver they (docs) can put you back on the right amount of meds that will help with the rapid cyceling(sp). I am sure that with time pdocs will find the right cocktail of meds so that you will not have to be so sedated. I admitt that I do not know much about rapid cycling because I am BP2 (more depressed than manic), but there are others in this group that can help you better with the rapid cycling. First I would wait and get stable and then try.
cyndi
Cyndi
Thanks, Cyndi,
Admittedly, DH has the medical resources to find out as much as possible about my situation; he just seems to be ignoring it. I feel like he perceives me differently now that I've been "labeled," and I wonder what the future holds for us, since he's wanting to sweep it under the carpet instead of researching it and supporting me. I'm feeling really inadequate at this point.
Will keep you all posted--
sandra
Sandra,
Your DH may be suffering from the "river disease"--denial.
I think you're right, Marci. DH is an emergency room doctor; he deals with life or death crisis, not cyclic mood swings. I think he needs time for this information to sink in. I think he also feels somewhat guilty for not having picked up on it long ago (he suggested something of the sort in a conversation we had last night).
My family will not be supportive. They will label me as "nuts," and gossip about me. That's fine. I'll find support in the right places. I think this was a good place to start.
sandra
Pages