I'm sorry...on the verge...trigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
I'm sorry...on the verge...trigs
1
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 8:29am

I haven't slept in 3 nights...I can't stop crying...I'm going into rages and hit my son...but he deserved it...just called pdoc for help. This just can't go on anymore. I am SOOOOOOO incredibly depressed. Nothing is working, not positive thinking, not my "strength", not posting here, nothing. I can't take it. I will not go I/P though, period. I just want some relief...its not fair that I can't have an a/d. I'm going through sheer torture here and an a/d would relieve some of that...Hell, I rapid cycle ALL THE TIME ANYWAY.

I'm losing weight...could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it...about 12 pounds so far...shouldn't have gotten on the scale this morning, now I'm obsessed with that...I'm a dang freak.

I have a meeting at 9, I have to sit in this office with someone and talk to pdoc and i am going to cry my eyes out when i'm trying to talk and that isn't fair either...i need a place to talk privately and there isn't anywhere...now that person is going to talk about my being crazy to everyone.

why do i even bother?

sorry, tracey, if u read this...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 9:33am

you bother b/c you know you have to, b/c you want to be here and you know how this goes.

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