i am having a tantrum
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i am having a tantrum
| Wed, 02-15-2006 - 7:02pm |
& its not pretty.
i work summers for a man who thinks the sun rises & sets by him.
he took it upon himself to make me available during the winter when the kids are on vacation.
i direct a theater camp for kids.
he directs the sports camp.
i can't wrap my mind around the idea of occupying these children in a theater for 6 hours in a winter because unlike him all my counselors are AWOL during winter vacation...& like i told him...you want me to break up the day playing dodgeball with them?i'm a 44 year old woman & i haven't played dodgeball in 20 years...nor do i want to.
anyway,the 1st vacation he cancelled due to not enough signups for the theater camp.that left me to fill the void with my own kids...so when it got to the wire(today)& the guy i begged(really..on my knees)to help me told me he got a "real job" & i only had 4 campers on my list,out of respect for the mothers who had to find alternatives for their kids(& the fact that i'd rather eat glass than endure a week of this alone..what am i supposed to do when 3 kids bring their lunch & 4 want to go for pizza...it happens)i called the mothers &^CANCELLED referring them instead to the sportscamp.
boss called....WHAT DID YOU DO THIS FOR?I"M GETTING ALL THESE CALLS FOR THE THEATER CAMP NOW(count...2...anyway..who waits till the last minute like that?)i said..i have 3 kids & i have to think of THEM...besides it was a judgement call b/c my counselor had a choice to make AND a couple of mothers wanted to know ASAP.so i decided.
wow...he makes me feel small.my summer camp was quite successful last season but he wants me to take it places i am NOT comfortable going.
he wants me to to do a huge performance for the public in the park at night..this camp runs week to week w/new kids every week.we were very comfortable doing a showcase for the parents every 2 weeks.i KNOW these parents.they don't want their kids in the park at night.& even my husband went pale when i told him the boss wants me to take the kids in car service TO THE BEACH.we have a nervous breakdown taking our own kids to the beach.a dozen or so stranger's kids to the beach?w/ 3 15 year old counselors???????to manhatten?????I THINK NOT.not my idea of good parenting of other peoples kids.last year i had to twist arms for a trip to the park.THEN he tells me how i should do this & that & the other & he's not afraid to spend money i should give him a list of all these wonderful things i can pull out of my buttHAHAHA last year i had to fire my dancer after the 1st class & pay the pianist & a counselor out of MY PAYCHECK every week because he looked at my list & laughed & said...i won't pay THIS!
my shrink says i should just lie & do what is comfortable.we haven't even discussed THIS but last session we discussed my cancelling the weeklong session b/c i wasn't equipt nor comfortable nor ever even asked if i wanted to DO this during my kids vacations.
i told my boss it'll only work if he hires me for the morning & i transfer the kids to sports in the afternoon.
i don't think he was listening.
thank YOU for listening.i'm NEVER comfortable with my decisions.even if they are the right ones.
i work summers for a man who thinks the sun rises & sets by him.
he took it upon himself to make me available during the winter when the kids are on vacation.
i direct a theater camp for kids.
he directs the sports camp.
i can't wrap my mind around the idea of occupying these children in a theater for 6 hours in a winter because unlike him all my counselors are AWOL during winter vacation...& like i told him...you want me to break up the day playing dodgeball with them?i'm a 44 year old woman & i haven't played dodgeball in 20 years...nor do i want to.
anyway,the 1st vacation he cancelled due to not enough signups for the theater camp.that left me to fill the void with my own kids...so when it got to the wire(today)& the guy i begged(really..on my knees)to help me told me he got a "real job" & i only had 4 campers on my list,out of respect for the mothers who had to find alternatives for their kids(& the fact that i'd rather eat glass than endure a week of this alone..what am i supposed to do when 3 kids bring their lunch & 4 want to go for pizza...it happens)i called the mothers &^CANCELLED referring them instead to the sportscamp.
boss called....WHAT DID YOU DO THIS FOR?I"M GETTING ALL THESE CALLS FOR THE THEATER CAMP NOW(count...2...anyway..who waits till the last minute like that?)i said..i have 3 kids & i have to think of THEM...besides it was a judgement call b/c my counselor had a choice to make AND a couple of mothers wanted to know ASAP.so i decided.
wow...he makes me feel small.my summer camp was quite successful last season but he wants me to take it places i am NOT comfortable going.
he wants me to to do a huge performance for the public in the park at night..this camp runs week to week w/new kids every week.we were very comfortable doing a showcase for the parents every 2 weeks.i KNOW these parents.they don't want their kids in the park at night.& even my husband went pale when i told him the boss wants me to take the kids in car service TO THE BEACH.we have a nervous breakdown taking our own kids to the beach.a dozen or so stranger's kids to the beach?w/ 3 15 year old counselors???????to manhatten?????I THINK NOT.not my idea of good parenting of other peoples kids.last year i had to twist arms for a trip to the park.THEN he tells me how i should do this & that & the other & he's not afraid to spend money i should give him a list of all these wonderful things i can pull out of my buttHAHAHA last year i had to fire my dancer after the 1st class & pay the pianist & a counselor out of MY PAYCHECK every week because he looked at my list & laughed & said...i won't pay THIS!
my shrink says i should just lie & do what is comfortable.we haven't even discussed THIS but last session we discussed my cancelling the weeklong session b/c i wasn't equipt nor comfortable nor ever even asked if i wanted to DO this during my kids vacations.
i told my boss it'll only work if he hires me for the morning & i transfer the kids to sports in the afternoon.
i don't think he was listening.
thank YOU for listening.i'm NEVER comfortable with my decisions.even if they are the right ones.

suzi...let it go now...u made ur decision and now its time to let it go...so what they don't like it...let them deal with it now. u did what u think is right, now stand by that!
HAVE ALL THE TANTRUMS YOU WANT!
Love and Hugs,
Keli
& if i let myself THINK...i realize i AM doing what's right.
as for his "suggestions" my camp went very well last summer.i realized this morning that when i did shakespeare in that park..it's against a highway & a river w/ loud boats.we needed a sophisticated sound system to be heard.w/ kids all anyone would be able to do is see their mouths move.
i'm smarter than i think.
i can't talk to my dad about this b/c he hates my boss & wishs i'd quit.
i feel better now & GLAD i don't have to do that ghastly camp AND juggle my kids failing grades AND my own rehearsals next week.
You ARE right and I am proud of you for standing up for yourself!
Love and Hugs,
Keli