Both dh and my sis have now commented
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Both dh and my sis have now commented
| Thu, 02-16-2006 - 2:38pm |
that I am still not myself. I agree with this statement. I just don't laugh the way I used to or enjoy the little things as much. Does this get any better? Should I be looking for more from my meds than just keeping me stable or does that just not really happen? Of course, some of this is life right now and I understand that, but it is the little things. For example, I used to sing in the car all the time, now I don't hardly ever. I used to make jokes a lot, now not so much. Will I never again enjoy all the little things I used to love?
I know I am not explaining myself real well, I just don't know how to. Think of it as laugh a little or laughing out loud. I want to laugh out loud again. Does that make sense?
Missy


It makes perfect sense !!!
God could not be everywhere, so
It makes perfect sense. I am the same way. I hate it too. Its the meds, they sort of "dull" us. Its how they "kill" the mania in us. Does that make sense? Gotta keep us on the dull side so we don't go off too much on the happy side. I know that's more of a simple answer than it really is, and I don't mean to dumb it up, but that's really how I know it to be. Its how it was explained to me. I don't like it, and I was told that it was better than being manic and crazy.
Some choice, huh?
Its not fair, and its a bad stroke of luck. I've heard some people say that we have to work really hard to "get back to that place". How the hell do I get back to that place when it was all I ever knew, and now I've been replaced by this dull person that I don't know anymore? I used to be SO fun loving...so excited by life...so happy, so energetic...i had so much fun all the time...I was told that was mania...I was told that was bad.
Now I am supposed to accept this as life.
I've had SO many people tell me how "different" I am now.
How much I've changed...how "dark" I seem now. They are right.
I don't like it either. It makes going off meds seem like a much better option doesn't it? That is why I say that all the time. Now, I will admit that I DID get in a lot of trouble during that happy go lucky fun time in my life. But I wasn't suicidal...I wasn't mood swinging...ya know?
I'm sorry you're feeling this way too. I wish I had an answer that was better than this one. Just wanted you to know you weren't alone.
Love you.
My sister says I am "normal" now. WTF? They dont know im on meds, they just think its because I got married...haha. I hate that too, Its almost like you dont feel anything at all. Everyone says its better this way, but I dont know if thats true, but one thing is for sure...you have to live with you, if its really horrible to deal with, ask your pdoc to play with your dose and maybe you can get some energy and some happiness back, but I think this stuff with your DH is probably not helping at all. Things will all work out in the end...they always do somehow
Rebekah