stigma of being labeled w/mental illness

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2005
stigma of being labeled w/mental illness
5
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 12:45pm

How come when someone is physically ill (i.e. the flu, diabetes, cancer, HIV, etc.) society treats them with empathy and sympathy (and RIGHTLY so, I'm the first one to lend a sympathetic ear and any type of assistance to someone in need of care). BUT...when you are diagnosed with a mental illness (i.e. bipolar), you are stigmatized and labeled as "crazy," and no one acknowledges that mental illness is JUST LIKE physical illness. None of us ASKED for our brain chemistries to be "off."

I am disgusted with the way I am being treated by my family and my so-called friends after receiving my diagnosis a week ago. Furthermore, my medication sedates me very heavily, so I'm a little groggy and forgetful--so now I'm being accused of being a drug addict, and self-righteous "friends" don't want to be around me because they say I am "wasted" on drugs. This is unbelievable. I have never felt so alone in the world. My only comfort and solace is at my pdocs office and on this message board.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

Love you all,
Sandra

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 1:04pm

Sandra,


Wish I had a good answer, but it is SLOWLY getting better as more celebreties speak out (and so getting more educational material into the publc eye)!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 9:08pm

I can't exactly say btdt, because my family was relatively supportive when I was diagnosed (but not perfect). But, I have had a few tastes of how some of the world is about mental illness. I remember when I was put on Thorazine, the music school where I was a student forced me into dropping out because they were convinced I had a drug problem. Much worse was years later when I had my first teaching job. I was teaching in a small town, and it leaked out that I had a mental illness- hard to keep secrets in a place like that. The principal made my life HELL!!!!! That was such a miserable time for me that I didn't even worry about having my contract renewed- I resigned because no one deserves to teach under those conditions.

It sounds like you are far worse off right now than I ever was. I feel for you, because it isn't fair when the world doesn't see our illness for what it is...an illness. I can't offer much, but let me offer {{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}.

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 9:23pm

Sandra,
((((((Hugs))))))) I am so sorry you are going through all of that. I was diagnosed with bp last May and I never told my family or friends about my illness. My husband knows and you all know. I never told them because I knew that they would react in the same way your friends and family are reacting to your diagnosis. It is horrible and sad but unfortunately the only thing you can do is try and educate them, the ones who are closest to you I would buy them books or give them websites to read, things like that, and the ones you can go on without, just let them go. You dont need friends who are going to hurt you and make you feel unloved. We are here for you and will listen to you whenever you need us.

Love
Rebekah

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Registered: 04-06-2005
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 9:13am

Big (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))


I'm so sorry you had to go thru that.


I have not officially had my dx of bp, and even if I did, there's no way I would tell everyone.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 11:37am

{{{{hugs}}}}

I want to speak as a family member rather than a sufferer. Luckily my family is very understanding of the illness. For some strange reason I have never seen the stigma behind it - I realize it is a brain disorder & cannot be controlled, only treated. Maybe it's because my mom & sisters are on meds for depression themselves they can be open to my H's illness. Maybe it's simply their love for me & since I accept it they do too?

My suggestions:

I suggest you refer your family to NAMI. (www.nami.org to find a nearby location) There is a family-to-family 12w course offered for free. There is one class devoted to the brain & what is believed to cause mental illnesses. It gives facts from findings off of cadivers(sp) & studies of twins with one sufferer compared to a 'meantally-healthy' sibling. They go over the most current meds used & how they work. All F2F courses are conducted in the same way with the same information, so even though I'm taking the course in OR it would be the same in your community.

It also teaches how to understand the illness, how to cope and how to help.

Suggest the book(s) 'An Unquiet Mind,' and/or 'How to Survive When They Are Depressed.' An Unquiet Mind is written by a therapist who works for John Hopkins University and suffers bipolar herself. I don't think she gets into the depths of the misery well enough, but there is some good information to help understand the illness better (written as a novel - not a self-help book). How to Survive is a self-help book. But as NAMI does the 1st thing this book does is helps the reader understand the illness from the sufferers point of view before getting into their own emotions.

Perhaps if you stress this is a type of depressive illness they will understand a little better. Look at how many people are on antidepressents now. I think depression is becoming pretty accepted. I don't think people understand the depths of 'real' depression - but are accepting it.

Let them know this is not a cause/effect illness from personal experiences. It was not due to the way you were raised or events that happened in childhood. Part of the stigma is people believe abuse and/or trauma is the culprit of MI. Parents blame themselves & do not want that responsibility. True, it may be possible in some cases, but many cases are due to genes, chemicals in our daily lives and/or physical head trauma.

Research famous sufferers. This following book is one I'm thinking of getting for my H, "The Hypomanic Edge : The Link Between (A Little) Craziness and (A Lot of) Success in America" http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743243447/104-6765094-8411115?v=glance&n=283155

In honor of President's Day ... do they know people like Abraham Lincoln suffered a mental illness himself? Even his wife? Yet we regard him so well we have today off to celebrate him.

Some of the best technology, artwork, music, etc. are from those who suffer from depressive illnesses. Sufferers tend to be very creative and/or artistic. Where would our world be today without them?

Let them know this is a treatable illness. There are 3 parts in which help a sufferer recive positive treatment: Medication, Talk therapy and Love & Acceptance from friends/family. So they were not the 'cause' of the illness, but they can be part of the 'solution' to the illness.

Direct them to support groups. I know there are 3 different institutions in my area that offer support for family members. They may not realize what characteristics are attached to your illness. It's amazing to sit with a group of people who also live with this & the characteristics shared is amazing. So strange you can have so many similar characteristics with completely different personalities???

If at all possible, concentrate on one person who seems the most open to your illness. Once this person becomes accepting have him/her do 1-7 as much as possible for you with other family/friends.

NOTE: If you were recently diagnosed there is a possibility you've just been through a crisis (sorry - as a family member I do not read a lot of the threads here, this was just the first support I found once I realized my H was in extremem mania. So I come here for support & updates - I read your thread today b/c of the word 'stigma' and this is something I'm a little upset with myself right now - but I do not know your history.)

If you are fresh from a crisis there needs to be a healing time for you & your friends/family. Allow this time. I believe education can help the healing process along.

Take care. At least you feel safe with your pdoc.

Bonnie




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng