manic AND depressed--**Trigs**
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manic AND depressed--**Trigs**
| Wed, 03-01-2006 - 1:17pm |
Help!! The Jodie side of me is manic and energized. The "Christine" side of me is depressed and suicidal. Sometimes it gets hard not to become engulfed in my stupid fantasy life. Today is one of those days. My "alter" is down and wants to die. I actualy the same way right now but it's not MY desire, it's hers. It's so weird. This doesn't happen very often but today is very strong. No idea why. Sometimes "Christine's" moods affect me. The whole thing is ridiculous. It's just a stupid fantasy but on sometimes it just becomes real. I found myself actually thinking about how to die knowing they weren't really "my" thoughts. It's kinda hard to explain since I don't even understand it. I suppose it might be because our different moods are so opposite at the moment. Why I've got "Christine" so down is beyond my comprehension. I actually "feel" her inside even though I still know it's all fantasy. Kinda scary.
Rambling today.
Jodie
Rambling today.
Jodie

Jodie,
I think it may be BECAUSE you are manic, is why the Christine part of you may feel so strong today. Sort of like a psychosis kind of thing, ya know? Do NOT let it get to the point that you cannot tell the difference. If it even gets CLOSE call your pdoc, or get to the ER. Its very important that you do so. Okay?
Once your mania gets that high, the psychosis can take over and then you can't control it anymore and Christine's impulsivity may come into play.
Does that make sense? Impulse control goes out the window once mania hits a certain level. Watch that very closely.
You know how your manics get and they get there really fast, just like mine do. So, promise that you'll call your pdoc, or get to the ER if you have to.
Love you
Keli