I really shouldnt be in charge.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
I really shouldnt be in charge.....
4
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 3:05pm

of planning DD's (or DS's for that matter) birthday parties. I get so f-ng manic because of it. I am a retard about money when I am manic, and I want to go spend it ALL!!! It started out with the landlady telling me that they are turning our apts into condos which freaking ROCKS! We have been looking for a house in this area to buy and we cant afford jack diddly squat, so we were just gonna rent, we didnt really want to stay in these particular apt's because they are old, but they were sold and are gonna be turned into condos which means they will be remodeled!!!!! Since we already live here if someone who has a 3 bedroom moves out and we put in a request ofr it and get approved we can have it...so YAY!!!! That started all my mania, and then I was looking for party ideas for DD's 6th birthday and gymnastics parties at the Rec Center are cheap, and she wanted to do that anyways...so I am super psyched about it, so I am going to go buy invitations and put the deposit down tomorrow, I want to pay the whole thing and go buy all sorts of crap...but I know thats just me being manic and my friend is going to take me so I wont have time to shop like I want. I am glad I didnt have time to go myself...it would have been a financial disaster.

So anyways I really need to not even bother with the damn things, but DH wouldnt ever know how or what to do and would jack it all up...so I kinda have to if we are gonna have parties for them at all. Blah blah blah I am manic as crap and getting worse by the second....maybe I will take a wellbutrin...hahah then I would have to probably go i/p because I would surely be psychotic then. Im happy its a good manic, but I know it wont stay that way.

Rebekah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 3:24pm

See I told you it was gonna get worse. I made the bad decision to listen to some music...and Pearl Jam pushed me over the edge...I know yall are laughin because I still listen to Pearl Jam but it aint New Kids...haha(sorry Donna, I really like New Kids, Im just messin around) No really though I am edgy as crap and I know once the kids get home I am gonna be freaking out and I think imma tell my friend I cant go shopping now bc OMG I will flip on someone

Rebekah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 3:38pm

btdt

OH how i've btdt...

now i can't even laugh... :(

i hate this so much!!! just took a freaking ativan, cuz i hate my dh and my ds...and i have to go home in a few minutes...and i know my mother will call me around 7 something too...

u gotta hang in there...k? do you have ativan or klonopin, or anything? benadryl even?

maybe yeah no on shopping...???

wish i could help more...i'm so useless right now...dang it all to hell...i will NOT do this crap anymore if i don't start feeling better soon...

i can't even start to WANT to listen to music...dammit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 3:42pm
ugh the i dont give a flip everything is blah dunno what to think in between cycles...thats what you are going through? I super relaly hope it gets better with the wellbutrin when it kicks in...you hang in there too. Tell DH to get a f-n job...thats probably half the problem is he is ALWAYS around...either him or DS...I know when DH was out of work it drove me nuts and now things are wayyyyyyyyy better around here. Did you get the post with my email in it?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 3:50pm

Yes, he is always around...and i hate him. I hate mike too...he's a brat...spoiled and disrespectful and bipolar as hell...i hate him too...i hate everyone around me...everyone...that's the mood i'm in...down, mad, irritable, depressed, f-ng pissed at everything in my life...nothing is right...nothing is good...nothing is ever changing or getting better...and i'm SICK OF IT. At least before I was in a manicky its okay kinda thing...this sucks.

Its like everyone is pulling at me for something...always...dh, ds, my parents, work...when the F do i ever get a F-ing break??? NEVER. EVER. EVER. Poor everyone else...ya know? Bump that...I'm so sick of it. F-ing jump off a dang bridge as far as I'm concerned.

I'm going to live in Cali by myself. For real man.

This mood BETTER get the heck outta dodge...I will NOT continue on with this one for very long...bye bye meds...I'm serious...this one is worse for me than the damn cyling was.

Yeah, I'll email you my cell phone number...