Dh is a real jerk..trigs......

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Dh is a real jerk..trigs......
4
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 4:18pm

I don't want to go into details and get all upset again, but just know that things are not good here and I am in a real bad place. Any thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated.

trigs....

I don't have anyone that I can talk to or explain the feeling of just wanting to die. Not really su thoughts because I wouldn't do that to the kids, but knowing that if God took me today it might be for the best. Get it? Thank God for my kids, they save me so much of the time. I am just so down right now. Dh beat me further down (not physicallly). I am just so ready to just give up on everything. I even wishing I did not have the trip to Vegas at the end of the month. I just don't have the energy in me to go.

Missy

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 4:41pm

(((((MIssy)))))) I am so sorry you are going through this....did you guys ever start the counseling? I remember you mentioned it a while ago but I forget what has happened since. If he is refusing to go or change his attitude, give him an ultimatum. My DH started acting like a jerk after he lost his job, and I knew it was stress but it was still a bunch of crap, so I told him that he was making me hate him and that if he didnt start being nicer and being supportive and helpful when I needed him to be, that I was going to leave. Even though I dont have enough money to leave and dont know where I would go, he knew that I meant it...and he doesnt want to get a divorce or anything so he straightened up and things are better.

I dont know if it has gotten to that point with you and DH yet or if you are even considering leaving him, but I keep remembering something I heard on Dr. Phil. He says that you are the only person who can change your life, you can choose how and when to react to other people and if you dont want him to control you then dont let him.

I know its hard and you wish everything was okay, and I hope it ends up that way, but you hae to make him understand and not let him control your emotions. Yeah you are bp, yeah you take meds, so freaking what...if you were diabetic wouldnt you do the same? If he doesnt want to clean/help with the kids...just leave it messy and when he complains tell him to clean it himself or you will do it when you can and to shut the heck up about it...tell him you arent lazy and you dont like the house being messy anymore than he does but things are tough with the kids and school and everything else and you need him to cut you some slack and help out around the house instead of constantly complaining.

Okay I am getting off my soapbox...sorry if I said anything to make you mad, his crap infuriates me and makes me wanna slap him in the mouth

Rebekah

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Registered: 07-21-2005
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 4:42pm

by the way....lol. BTDT with the wanting to die bit and dont you dare not take that trip...you NEED to have some fun its not wrong or selfish or bad or anything else and dont let him talk you out of it.

Love
Rebekah

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Registered: 10-02-2003
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 5:58pm

Missy,


I don't know you too well, but I have seen your posts most of the time about how emotionally abusive your dh is to you and it breaks my heart. I don't know if you know this or not but there is a board here on iVillage about abusive relationships. I don't remeber the title but it is in the love&sex message boards. I really think these ladies would welcome you and give you support and some suggestions on how to deal with what you are going through. Please know I will pray for you and I hope things get better for you.


Tina

 
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 9:15pm

I really don't think my dh is emotionally abusive. At least I don't see it that way most of the time. Sometimes I am so ready to leave other times I really want to work on it. We have not called a counselor yet. He says he is going to take care of calling, but he hasn't. To be honest, I am not sure he really will. I told him today if he does not do it soon, he needs to leave or let me call. I can't go on living like this. It is not fair to me. I took some me time today to go work out, with out having to drag the kids along and to go the tanning beds (I needed some sunlight, even if it is fake, it helps my moods). I took a nice hot bath and I spent some time yelling at dh to put him in his place. We will see what tommorrow brings. He is working tonight but is off again tommorrow until Saturday morning. Thanks for all the support. I am feeling a little better now.

Missy