Can someone review the symptoms of

Avatar for missyflanders
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Can someone review the symptoms of
2
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:22pm

depression with me? I am wondering if there is something wrong with my dh. He has just been acting so weird lately. He is now not sure if he wants to go through with therapy but has told me to go through with the interview for my well being and he will think about what he can do for his well being.

He is not social, but never has been. Most people would say he seems unhappy, although he would claim he is not except with me. Although again, mostly people would say "Josh is never happy". He has been moody since day one. Lately, he just can't make any decisions and stick to it. He is really grumpy with me and the kids, most of the time, more so than usual. He is not happy with his job, again on and off. Nothing is constant with him. He is bored with everything it seems, although he is says it is me.

Any advice? Could this be depression? It does run in his family. My sister is basically his best friend and she says he is whacked in the head right now, lol. He would NEVER consider meds (it is a guy thing and doctors), so I would just have to learn to live with it or maybe try something homeopathic. Just wondering if this might be something we might be dealing with.

Missy

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 9:32pm

Hi Missy...it's hard to say, but it sounds like it's possible that he is going through depression. I've often heard it said that men and women can experience, and express, depression differently...have you ever visited the site "maledepression.com"?

I checked out the site just now, and it looks like some parts of it are down...but here's a little excerpt from an FAQ I found from this page: http://www.maledepression.com/index.php?name=FAQ&id_cat=6

"Can men and women experience depression differently?
Research and clinical evidence reveal that while both women and men can develop the standard symptoms of depression, they often experience depression differently and may have different ways of coping with the symptoms. In fact, some researchers question whether the standard definition of depression and the diagnostic tests based upon it adequately capture the condition as it occurs in men.

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What symptoms may be more commonly experienced by men who suffer from depression?
Men may be more willing to acknowledge fatigue, irritability, loss of interest in work or hobbies, and sleep disturbances rather than feelings of sadness, worthlessness, and excessive guilt.

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What are some common ways that men deal with depression?
Instead of acknowledging their feelings, asking for help, or seeking appropriate treatment, men may turn to alcohol or drugs when they are depressed, or become frustrated, discouraged, angry, irritable and, sometimes, violently abusive. Some men deal with depression by throwing themselves compulsively into their work, attempting to hide their depression from themselves, family, and friends; other men may respond to depression by engaging in reckless behavior, taking risks, and putting themselves in harm’s way. "
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It sounds like he could use some help, but I know what you mean about his not being willing to get therapy...I'm not sure how else you could approach him about it (maybe someone else here will have an idea). Hang in there...it sounds like you're doing what's best for you by going for therapy, so that sounds like a good start.

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:00am

Hey honey...okay, so yeah...if this is depression, and he won't do meds or therapy or anything...and he stays this way, do you think you can live with him like this for a long period of time? You're very unhappy and I hate hate hate to see you like this...anyway, just wanted to throw that out there. I know you want your marriage to work. I've lived with my dh when he wasn't happy with me, and it almost killed me. It only got worse. Just be careful.

It does sound like something isn't right with him. But as for depression? Its hard to say. My dh isn't social either...sometimes he can be moody...but he isn't depressed in the clinical sense. He may be whacked out right now...that's possible...its confusing...he may just be unhappy with his life in general and he needs to figure out why and to do that he needs help. He does NOT need to bring you and the kids down with him. My dh did that to me and my ds and it was miserable...it will never happen again. Ever. Just be careful is all I'm saying.

I'm not trying to upset you in any way, I just know exactly what you're going through and I don't want you to be hurt so horribly like I was in the process.

Love you.