what is this????
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what is this????
| Wed, 03-08-2006 - 12:58pm |
supposedly i am stable on my meds.but i go someplace...ANYPLACE..like rehearsal last night...there were alot of people there..i felt sooooo left out but i couldn't stop...my mouth was racing along with my mind...i talked i gossiped i quipped & in my head i'm going shut up shut up why can't you shut UP?
in the car in the way home..i talked about things i didn't even KNOW about(anyone seen that scene in anchorman where they are sitting in the car talking bout san diego?)hating myself the whole time
then
i HATE MYSELF.
i cringe at what i was & who i am & what i did & what i do?
i'd email the dr. but i don't know what to tell him.
in the car in the way home..i talked about things i didn't even KNOW about(anyone seen that scene in anchorman where they are sitting in the car talking bout san diego?)hating myself the whole time
then
i HATE MYSELF.
i cringe at what i was & who i am & what i did & what i do?
i'd email the dr. but i don't know what to tell him.

Hey Suzi...I think that maybe you need to talk to a therapist...I know that my pdoc says I won't ever be truly stable, until I get a tdoc and learn how to live with the BP, learn how to cope with the Borderline stuff, the PTSD stuff...so yeah...your meds can be just fine...and MEDICALLY you can be stable...but you still have to work on the other side of the stuff with a therapist. We've LEARNED these behaviors through years of being manic...they just don't go away with meds. We have to relearn how to behave, sort of. Does that make sense?
Hugs!
Suzi,
I just want to say that you are not alone in that kind of stuff. I dont know why we do it, but it happens. I usually am happier talking about bs than about what I am "really" thinking, because its worse. So I just talk to talk even though I should prbably say nothing.
Rebekah