Another newbie to the board. Triggers: ?
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| Fri, 03-10-2006 - 2:33pm |
Hi all. I'm a newbie to the BPD board but not to Ivillage. Probably gonna be a long post.
Why the celebration icon? Well, I'm celebrating hope for me....and my family!
The begining of my story may make some furious, as it did me. Not a trigger type event, just a stupid doctor! And a stupid me for believing him all these years.
About 22 years ago I was diagnosed with "mild manic depressive disorder" (now known as Bipolar II) by a pdoc who had seen me a handful of times. I was only treated for about 3 months (with Lithium) when my family physician, who had known me for years, told me I was not manic depressive and I didn't need the meds. I was simply depressed and needed anti-depressants. He put me on anti-depressants. Since I believed in him and his diagnosis I have not saught treatment fot BPD in the last 22 years. Although for 22 years I have known in my heart *something* was wrong. I have had doctors do so many tests to wee if "this or that" is what is wrong with me. Anything to find out why I feel the way I do. Why am I always depressed? Why can't I be happy? why can't I enjoy life like others do? etc.
I have been on one anti-depressant or another for my entire adult life. They do help with my anxiety and raging to some extent. I am only hypo-manic so those bouts have always been thought of as me FINALLY having some energy to enjoy, even if only for a short time During the hypo-mania episodes I feel like what I percieve as *normal*. I actually have the engergy to get up and do something, anything!
That's my history. Now on to present day.
I have a son who is a junior in high school. He has been having a lot of problems the last 4 years. Each year his grades drop and his depression gets worse. He has anger issues. Like me he gets small bouts of energy. I always say "he is the kid my mom wished upon me"....you know how your mom says "I hope you have a kid just like you when you grow up! He is "me" all over.
He too has been treated for depression.
Just last week he was diagnosed with Bipolar II! That brought up all the old memories of 22 years ago when I was diagnosed and the fact BPD can be hereditary. I mentioned it to DS's pycologist who immediately said I need to come in and be re-eveluated and most likely treated with mood stabablizers and anti-anxiety meds in addition to what I'm already on. A few days later I took DS in to see the psyciatrist and be put on meds. She agreed with the psycologist and told me to make an appointment directly with her. Said I didn't need to see a tdoc first, just come see her! So week after next I go to see her.
She wanted to put DS on Depakote as she feels it helps males with anger issues & BPD best. DS hates needles so the pdoc agreed to start him on Lamictal so he wont need blood drawn. This is in addition to the Lexapro (and Aderall for ADHD) he is already on. If the Lamictal doesn't work he will have to go on the Depakote.
That's the scoop with DS. On to DD.
I have a DD who is a freshman in high school. With her I have known *something* is "wrong" but have been unsure of what, until now! She rapid cycles. DH always blames it on PMS. I kept telling him it isn't PMS, but I wasn't sure what it was. She too is going to see the pdoc to get put on meds.
So, back to the celebration icon, I am celebrating the fact we are all getting the help we need and hopefully we will all enjoy rich, fruitful, "normal as can be" lives with out all the ups and downs. Especially me after 22 years!

Hooray for you and your family!
I was Dx'ed as a teen I think it is the roughest time to find things like that out, HS is already awkward and judgemental. It wasn't a secret around our house, my parents put us all in therapy, in fact it was what one of my sisters wrote her graduate thesis about years later. I suspect all the women on my maternal side have some kind of BPD. whole 'nother post topic.
I know i am grateful to my parents seeking help for me years ago. Despite being apart from them for much of my teens because of hospitalization. I gained coping skills that have continued to save my life.
you will find your path as will your children. Keep on celebrating.
all the best,
Christine
Hi there! THat's really awesome and I am proud of you for having the courage and strength to finally get the help that you so need and deserve! You'll find a lot of support and friendship here.
Hugs!
Keli
It is so good to see that you and your children are getting the help you need. Good for you for making it happen. Your kids are lucky to have you for their mom. Let us know how it goes with the pdoc when you go. Thanks for sharing your story.
Tina
welcome to the board. i too am somewhat of a newbie! what wonderful news for your family. i hope my family can get there someday. you give me hope and motivation!
i hope that your journey with your pdoc is a good, if that can be said, one and that you get meds that help you. i wish your whole family well.
lauren
Hi and Welcome !!!!
I'm glad you and your family are getting the help needed.
God could not be everywhere, so