Rebekah

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Rebekah
4
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 12:46pm
how was pdoc today? sorry i'm not more help to you, but i'm in not much better shape...love u...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 2:38pm

Im sorry you are feeling so crappy. I would definitely call your pdoc and let them know whats going on. I went today and she kept my lithium the same (1200mg) she said she cant up it anymore, she kept the lamictal the same (200mg) she told me to keep taking the Geodon at 20mg for 4 days then up to 40mg for 4 days then 80mg for 2 weeks till I see her again and she added Paxil 20mg. She is really hoping that this Geodon ends up working for me because there isnt much else I can try that she thinks will fix the rapid cycling bs. I just want to be somewhat ok..not even good...just okay would be nice. So thats that.

Thank you all for worrying about me
Love you
Rebekah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: keli003
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 7:55am

Hey honey...how are you today? Can you check in with me and let me know??? I love you and I'm worried about you!!!

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
In reply to: keli003
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 8:26am

Im okay I guess. Not good but not horrible, I would say im mid level depressed, I went to school today to study in the library because I cant even think at all at home and will just sleep all day, so I am gonna try to do some stuff here, but who knows. I hate this damn Geodon but pdoc wants met o keep trying to up the dosage so maybe I will be able to deal with it. Other than being tired the only side effects that are really bad is that my eyes burn, they feel like when you have allergies and your eyes hurt...like that. It blows. I just had a triple espresso coffee...and I am still tired...ugh. Pdoc wants me to up my Geodon to 80mg a day, but when I took that much before, it made me sleep for 2 whole days. She says that if I work up to it I should be okay and if Im not to call her...but it sounds to me like this is her last real hope, I dont know if she knows what to try next if this doesnt work, since I cant tolerate much of anything and need an a/p and a mood stabilizer. She thought the Lithium would work better I suppose.

All in all I am in that place where inside you wish it was all over and you hate your life and yourself and dont care about anything at all, but you are still trying to pretend for the most part that you are okay....so pretty much just going through the motions of life and not getting anything done. I really wish I could force myself to clean my house. My kitchen is so dirty. There are no dishes at all that are clean and there is dried spills on the counters and boxes of stuff all over the place and you can barely walk in there...and I want to clean it, but whenever I go in there I get so overwhelmed and upset and it makes me feel like a horrible person that it is that dirty and my kids live in my house and its like that and I just go out of there.

School is kicking my butt completely. I told pdoc that too, and she just said it was because of the rapid cycling being so much...so she wants to fix that first then work on the other stuff if its still there. God Im tired.

How are you doing today? Any better?

Love you too
Rebekah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: keli003
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 9:44am

i'm okay...fighting my butt off to fight this depression...forcing myself to do things...i know exactly what place you're in right now, and you have all my love and support...u have to hang in there and wait it out...it sucks, i know it sucks...but ur doing all u can do right now. just hang in there...u know it will get better...somehow someway it always does, though it never feels that way.

love you...