everyone i know
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everyone i know
| Thu, 03-16-2006 - 3:52pm |
seems to have gotten the life they wanted...or the life they didn't know they wanted & then they went & got a good one.the best job family home.even guys that dumped me..are now living happily ever after.
i really hate my life.i love my children but my life...i HATE HATE HATE every single moment of it.i wish i would die.i really do.
maybe this is some kind of prep for some awful thing that'll happen to me so i won't care.
because i don't.
& i am NOT telling anyone else but you guys.the only thing meds do for me is give me side effects.
i really hate my life.i love my children but my life...i HATE HATE HATE every single moment of it.i wish i would die.i really do.
maybe this is some kind of prep for some awful thing that'll happen to me so i won't care.
because i don't.
& i am NOT telling anyone else but you guys.the only thing meds do for me is give me side effects.

Sweetie,
That's the old demon BP talking and you just got to talk back to it!
BP is a big kill joy. It will take the nicest day and make it black. It makes it hard to see the sun shinning through but it will shine again. I know that doesn't help now when you are feeling like hell. What things/people do you enjoy/love? I have found that writting down some of these things helps me feel more secure, not all better but makes me feel I have hope. This illness can take everything out of you. Be patient with yourself. Take one day at a time.
HUGS- Tina
my dad just got in touch(keep in mind my entire family moved away when it was always MY plan to move...ha.
cept my dad.he's a scream away.)ok...after a shoddy life he's doing well.happy well,you know?so now he's touring to california to do salome w/ al pacino diane weist & whoever else they're taking.they did it in new york & originally he wasn't chosen for the ca. cast.
i'm really not making this up.
i'm happy...but my heart hurt.he's an old man & i do not like to have him far away.
also he's the only one who comes sees my shows & he won't be here for mine tho mine is FAR less impressive.
i'm really feeling sorry for myself.why am i thinking of old boyfriends w/ their country houses & perfect wives.i was never good enough
while looking in the past doesn't do much good, sometimes it does need to be done.
God could not be everywhere, so