everyone i know

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
everyone i know
5
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 3:52pm
seems to have gotten the life they wanted...or the life they didn't know they wanted & then they went & got a good one.the best job family home.even guys that dumped me..are now living happily ever after.
i really hate my life.i love my children but my life...i HATE HATE HATE every single moment of it.i wish i would die.i really do.
maybe this is some kind of prep for some awful thing that'll happen to me so i won't care.
because i don't.
& i am NOT telling anyone else but you guys.the only thing meds do for me is give me side effects.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: suziq_3
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 4:35pm

Sweetie,


That's the old demon BP talking and you just got to talk back to it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 6:55pm

BP is a big kill joy. It will take the nicest day and make it black. It makes it hard to see the sun shinning through but it will shine again. I know that doesn't help now when you are feeling like hell. What things/people do you enjoy/love? I have found that writting down some of these things helps me feel more secure, not all better but makes me feel I have hope. This illness can take everything out of you. Be patient with yourself. Take one day at a time.


HUGS- Tina

 
Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 7:19pm
my mother is proactive....she gave me lists of "what to do" to make my voice heard.cause i feel like i'm walking thru sludge..this was all about the kids & the problems at school..the lice & the missed days.she wanted me to march down to the councilman's office this afternoon.yeah right mommy.who's gonna pick up my kids & what impression will i make not even having had time for a shower????
my dad just got in touch(keep in mind my entire family moved away when it was always MY plan to move...ha.
cept my dad.he's a scream away.)ok...after a shoddy life he's doing well.happy well,you know?so now he's touring to california to do salome w/ al pacino diane weist & whoever else they're taking.they did it in new york & originally he wasn't chosen for the ca. cast.
i'm really not making this up.
i'm happy...but my heart hurt.he's an old man & i do not like to have him far away.
also he's the only one who comes sees my shows & he won't be here for mine tho mine is FAR less impressive.
i'm really feeling sorry for myself.why am i thinking of old boyfriends w/ their country houses & perfect wives.i was never good enough
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
In reply to: suziq_3
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 8:20am

while looking in the past doesn't do much good, sometimes it does need to be done.

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Sat, 03-18-2006 - 5:45am
It's not really on the same topic, but something Donna said triggered a memory for me. It was about the time I came to the realization in high school that maybe the skinny, popular girl is only skinny and popular because she has an eating disorder and she's hiding who she really is. The point being... I came to the realization that things may not be as they appear. That's part of being truly genuine - being the same behind closed doors as you are when everyone's looking. And it's important for a child's sense of security and stability to have a parent who's genuine.

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