keli babe
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| Thu, 03-16-2006 - 10:49pm |
hi keli!
dont ever think that id be mad at you! its not even possible! thanks for your advice on the lithium. i wouldnt take it anyway. im way afraid of it, and wouldnt take anything that would even remotely add weight. i WILL be fine when i see pdoc next wk, no matter what i have to do. even if i have to stop taking a/d w/o telling him. put sinkers in my pockets to keep me off the ceiling. put tacks in my shoes. well he'll call tomorrow. ill talk to him about it then.
yeah, had anger issues with boss today. i knew i would, it happened, and i couldnt stop myself. he dumped another location's workload on me, because they dont have the equivalent of my position there. so i have to do their work AND my work now. i was ripping. let him know how i felt, went off on him. shoot, i even told him he could kiss my you know what... that did NOT go over well. holy crap, thought i was gonna get shown out of the building at that point. while i was yelling, the people were out in the office laughing, and i kept stopping and telling them HEY! YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!!! weird thing is that some people like the aggressive and fiesty me better. i think that's what saved my job. boss kinda likes the fire. but NOT the disrespect (he let me know that, in no uncertain terms, lol).
my friend at work said another co worker thinks i'm crazy. so i yell all the way across the office "hey, SCOTT!!! i hear you think i'm crazy! is that true?!", so he says "no, your not crazy, not yet anyway. i do believe that your mind is out of balance though." i laughed and laughed. OOB. :) cracked me up.
dbt pissed me off again. stupid 20 yr old girl. takes over the whole grp and got a free therapy session on everyone else's buck. woulndt shut up about her stupid mother calling her a loser. yeah, poor dumb*** was drunk driving and fd up the car. and she's SURPRISED that mom called her a loser. she's lucky that she's just being called loser, rather than the names she'd have been called if she'd killed someone. and loser is pretty tame for the names that I was coming up for her. grr!
there's me there, that just told my boss to kiss my ***, and starving. another woman that's crying because she's afraid that she'll wake up again tomorrow. another that's in the corner crying for some unknown reason. and 3 more. the ONLY one that stupid coach let talk (on and on!) was that stupid girl. everyone else with real problems had to sit there and listen to her whine. "oh, and they didnt set a place for me at dinner!" boo f'ing hoo! come here so i can slap the **** out of you you brat!
there. venting is good. sorry this is SO long. i have to get this out or i dwell on it, and it gets worse and worse!
i hope you're feeling better sweetie. are you going to hang in there a little longer like hospital pdoc said? or are you going to have pdoc chnage up your meds? and what about therapy? given anymore thought to it?
love you tons!

hey beth,
I know you posted this to keli but I always end up reading everything and I wanted to tell you that Im sorry you had such a crappy day. Although I think you handled it rather well. I would have gone off on my boss too and I certainly would have wanted to smack that girl...and your co-workers should have more sense, but unfortunately there are alot of really stupid people in the world and I think we just end up noticing it more than other people maybe. I dotn know what to say about the meds situation, other than you know what you can and cant handle so do what you think is best until you can talk to or see pdoc. Maybe if you take half the a/d instead of stopping it completely that might still keep you from flying but not drop you flat either. Just throwing out ideas....anyways I hope you feel better today.
Hugs
Rebekah
hey bethie...
NO NO NO NO and NO on the lithium...it was making me SO sick...and SO tired, and lots of other stuff too, and it had been almost 4 weeks on it...i couldn't work and function like that...so I stopped it. I'm going to start taking Trileptal. It was the other med the hospital pdoc gave me the choice of taking. So I will start that sometime soon.
I'll be fine. I was a bit depressed yesterday, but what else is new...its all so cyclical with me...today I think I'm okay, lol. As okay as I ever get.
I think you did really well with your boss, other than the disrespect...and as for your coworkers, good for you! I hate mine...they all think I'm nuts too...but so what...I don't care anymore.
So, tell me how you did on Trileptal...I think I remember you taking it. I took it for a long time before, and did okay. Just now I'm terrified of side effects. Ugh. The Lithium almost did me in...and the funny thing was I didn't have any real weight gain! Just all the other side effects. I'm still bloated too...still nauseated...still tired...but by the weekend's end, it should be done.
Talk to you later.
Love you.