i have decided trig trig trig trig trig
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i have decided trig trig trig trig trig
| Fri, 03-17-2006 - 3:41pm |
to kill myself.
maybe i'll tell my tdoc on sunday.
maybe not.
it takes longer to plan a suicide when there are little kids in the house.
i've started saying stuff out loud.
i got my period & if my pdoc asks me if my depression comes when my period does i think i will bite him.
breathing hurts.
i hate my children.
i don't know how to love anything.
sorry if i upset anyone.
i had to write it somewhere.last time i wrote "a note"..all i got back was instructions on how.
& an invasion of my privacy.
so i'm doing it quietly.
maybe i shouldve posted on the suicide board..but i don't know anyone there.
bye.
maybe i'll tell my tdoc on sunday.
maybe not.
it takes longer to plan a suicide when there are little kids in the house.
i've started saying stuff out loud.
i got my period & if my pdoc asks me if my depression comes when my period does i think i will bite him.
breathing hurts.
i hate my children.
i don't know how to love anything.
sorry if i upset anyone.
i had to write it somewhere.last time i wrote "a note"..all i got back was instructions on how.
& an invasion of my privacy.
so i'm doing it quietly.
maybe i shouldve posted on the suicide board..but i don't know anyone there.
bye.

PLEASE, PLEASE CALL YOUR PDOC NOW...DO NOT WAIT UNTIL SUNDAY...YOU NEED HELP NOW...OR GET TO THE NEAREST HOSPITAL. WE LOVE YOU AND DO NOT WANT YOU TO HURT YOURSELF. YOUR KIDS NEED THIER MOTHER. PLEASE CALL OR GO TO THE HOSPITAL NOW.
Missy
Honey,
Call your pdoc RIGHT NOW or go to the ER, PLEASE!
Suzi,
If you don't feel comfortable calling your pdoc or going to the ER, how about giving one of these help lines a call:
Suicide Hotline - 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
Suicide Hotline - 1-800-273-TALK
Suzi,
Please post and let us know how you're doing. We care about you and want to see you here, and living your life. I don't want to intrude if my opinion isn't wanted, so if that's the case, then don't read further. On the 7th, I OD'd. I took 90 Celexa, 30 Risperdal, and 4 Tylenol 3's. I really meant it. Thankfully, my dh found out and got me to the ER in time. But they had to intubate me and jump start me twice. I had two seizures (something I'm not prone to), one before I even got to the ER. I was da** lucky I didn't end up worse. I spent 3 days in the ER and ICU. Then I went immediately (well, was escorted) to the psychiatric hospital for 5 days. They would have kept me longer but I was ready to scratch people's eyes out to get home. Point being, while I was there, I did a lot of thinking. I have two small boys, 2 1/2 years old and 6 months. Motherhood can suck! But knowing what those boys might go through wondering if Mommy left because of them, if they were to blame because Mommy couldn't stand them... I couldn't bring myself to do it again (even though I've wanted to) because I don't want to put them through that. The things that caused me to impulsively take those pills, I'm finding, are not as bad as I thought. I just needed more time to think about it and a better perspective. While I'm still depressed and there are days I wish it HAD worked, I'm thankful with everything in me that I didn't put my kids (or my dh) through that. Please just consider everybody who loves you and how much we would miss you and miss out on by not having you. Forgetting that, even, think about your kids. How would you or anybody else
Girl...I hope by now you have called someone, or gone to the er.
we love you here...if there is any place that completely understands what you are going thru, its this board.
You are in a very dark, bad place right now, killing yourself will solve nothing, prove nothing.
God could not be everywhere, so
suzi,
girlfriend, please take the advice you have been given here. call your pdoc, er, suicide hotlines, anyone who can listen and help you get through this. you are talking about a permanent end to a very temporary situation. i've been where you are right now. it's definitely NOT a fun place to be, BUT like everyone's said, it's temporary. it DOES get better.
think also about your children. you may think you hate them right now, but i suspect that's the depression talking. they need you sweetie. there's no 2 ways about that and to
I agree with Donna and with everyone else who has posted...please, please go to the ER. I'm here for you, and I know so many other women here are too...I am hoping and praying that you will seek help to get you back to a place where you can see how important your life is, in so many ways.
Hugs and prayers,
Rose