Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Update
2
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 2:42pm

Okay, so I don't feel good...I'm having an 'all of the above' kind of thing going on...depression, irritability, agitation, anxiety...that's the BP stuff...then, add in some Fibro flare goin on...just for fun, k? Oh, and probably a sinus infection...since I have had a sinus thing goin on for a month now...I feel achy, and my muscles and body HURTS...have the whole "fibro fog" thing whirling around...my head feels like marshmallows...I feel so weak, and feverish...yeah, like the flu, but not...a real flare...perfect timing for one...

I'm starting Trileptal tomorrow...or whenever I can pick it up from the Pharmacy. Its expensive...one of the designer anti-epileptic meds that my insurance won't put on their preferred list. And its nothing more than a newer, revamped, slicker model of Tegretol, sans the side effects profile. Hopefully. With my luck, I'll get the side effects anyway.

I need some luck here...a break...a hug, a kiss...some love...something...please.

I'm having a really hard time over here. I don't want to go home, things aren't exactly wonderful there either...and its not because of anyone, or anything but me and BP. It will be okay...I'm just pretty darn miserable right now.

I've been on 150mgs of Wellbutrin for a month now...and I'm no better. So, in another week to 10 days, when I get my RX refilled, I'm going to ask my pdoc to up it to 300. Most people take 300 mgs. I'm tired to the bone of being so depressed.

I'm so so so tired...physically. The Fibro wears me down...as does the depression. So when they both work on me at the same time, its tough. But tomorrow is another day and I'm sooo hoping that when I wake up tomorrow, I'll feel even a tiny bit better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 3:03pm

I hate that you keep having these problems with the depression...with BP period. I really wish I could make you feel better. Do you like to read? I read self help books and alot of times it helps. Even if just while I am reading it and then I will think about certain things in the book to help me later, but it helps to go into your own little world and get away and have something you can relate to. Maybe go to the library and see what they have that interest you. See if they have any insperational books as well, if you like those. Going to the library will also help get you away from your house.


I am having a real hard day myself. I am depressed as hell. I woke up yesterday morning and had to go have lunch with these ladies I met in my grief support group. I didn't really want to go but I am glad I pushed myself, it was good, almost like a therapy session. I thought when I got up today I would feel sooooo much better. I didn't and then this sh.. with my sister spending that insurance money has me crawling out of my skin. I went off on her today. I told her our mother is in the ground like a dead dog with no marker with her name on it. I wish I had the money to buy it right now, but I have been making payments.


Keep taking your meds. Not if they make you sick but the ones that don't and call your pdoc if you need to. Forget what the people in the hospital said. If you are not feeling good something needs to be done. Don't give up and keep working to do your best. I love you.


Tina

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 3:04pm
Sending lots of (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) and p&pt your way.
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