Voices????
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| Tue, 03-21-2006 - 11:17am |
We have just come out of a bad weekend. On Friday my H mentioned how he was told bipolar is borderline with schizophrania. He then told me when he falls asleep at night he says he hears what sounds like a radio playing somewhere. I asked him how long he's heard this & he said for the past 4-5 years.
Later in the weekend he told me he hears a voice, like the devil on the shoulder. I asked again, how long, he told me since he was 14 yrs old. Later he told me it just started. Again, he made reference to how docs had told him bipolar is boderline schiz.
Later he started he would sometimes say 'the voice' then refer to it as 'the voicES.' So I would ask for clarification and he would get all confused and really wouldn't say if it was one or multiple, but now said it has just started this weekend. He would then tell me what 'the voice' was saying, 'don't believe the b!tch,' etc. He also began talking about how much he HATES our dd. Complained how it's too late to abort her. (Only later to talk about how much he loves her.) Then he told me the voice said, 'kill the b!tch.' This is when I found out he'd been skipping his Seroquel & I convinced him to take one.
NOTE: The pdoc wants H to wean himself off of the Seroquel, but now I don't think that is such a good idea.
Since he took the Seroquel he says the voices have stopped.
My question is this .... can bipolar's hear voice(s) while in mania? I personally believe it's a delusion built up by the fear of becoming schiz as the (a) doc warned him of. I think a part of this was he wanted to freak me out & to gain my attention while he was in this state of mind. He has made up stories in the past while in hypomania. I would wait months before asking and he would tell me he did make up the story.
He's been on the stabilizers for 21 days now. I believe things tend to get worse before they get better. I'm hoping this means his meds are starting to kick in.
Am I fooling myself?
I know takling about delusions is difficult & I hope I have not offended anyone here.
Me!

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I really don't know....I'm sure other people will respond to you soon.
Does pdoc know about the voices?
God could not be everywhere, so
This is where I'm not sure how to proceed. I told H repeatedly his pdoc needs to know & he said absolutely not. He even begged I not talk about this with anyone. This is part of the reason I think he may have been saying this as an attention getter (that and his story kept changing). I did try to get H to call the pdoc on call but he wouldn't. Unless I feel there is an immediate threat I am trying not to get too involved with contacting people.
His next apt is early April. I'm debating if I should include it in the journal I'm turning into the pdoc or not. I think I'll evaluate the next couple of weeks (well, he'll be gone for the next week) to see if I think it's necessary.
His irritability has been high, but amazingly enough he's been able to control it. He'll either hide, or tense his muscles and still be calm and gentle with me and the kids, or if he does get upset he'll apologize quickly afterwards. He never raises his voice, but his voice can become bitter and mean. I definately see an effort on his part to try to control his moods as best as he can. I'm quite proud of him. This weekend was bad, but it's also the anniversary of when we spread his mother's ashes (on St. Patrick's Day), so I was expecting it.
I just don't know when to step on his toes. I really want him to be in as much control of his recovery/treatment as possible.
"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."
~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
maybe your husband's dx is borderline w/ schizo.
as for debating whether to include this in your journal i would think an admission of hearing voices since childhood & suddenly hearing one that says kill the bitch & don't beleive the bitch as well as the other things you descibed should be reported to his dr. asap whether or not he's doing it for attention.grown ups don't behave like that when they are ok.jmo.
I feel along the same lines as suziq on this one.
you are not a doctor, nor should you be the one to make these types of decisions.
God could not be everywhere, so
IF there is someone who can clearly SEE the behavior in order to report it,the better.
what i mean is....ok..i've made it clear that i'm not doing well lately.
i'm feeling suicidal & my skewed self image feels very real to me,but notice that i called it cockeyed.
you'd think the FIRST thing i want to do is call my pdoc.
nope nope nope.
as a matter of fact the thought is repellant to me.
i did it...but it took a couple of weeks AND i felt like an a$$ writing it down for someone i had to look at,to go possibly along the side effect roller coaster or worse to the hospital.
it's not such an easy thing to do & in your case i think it's not in your husbands best interest for you to keep the secrets he begs you to keep.
you said yourself he doesnt always take his medicine on his own.
if you want him to FEEL as tho he's being proactive in his treatment,fine.but ,& beleive me,youre a better woman than i am...YOU'VE gotta do it.
just remember that speech the dr. gave about him taking his illness more seriously.
old habits die hard.
I don't mind talking about delusions, they are a part of mania for some people. I know I hear voices when I'm manic. When you are manic, your thoughts can disorganize just like a schizophrenic's. It sounds like that's what is happening to your dh. MAKE SURE HE TAKES HIS PILLS!!!!
Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"
Your husband said those things about you and dd and you didn't call his Dr. immediately? I personally would have left smoke behind me leaving with my kids. While my partner was hospitalized a woman dropped her kids off a peir in SF because "the voices told her to." Yes and Andrea Yates comes to mind as well.
My partner heard voices when he was delusional. He also drug me outside naked "to show me something" I fought like hell because I was afraid that something was a hole in the ground that me and my dd were going into. He doesen't remember now what he was going to show me.
I n5 yrs I had never feared my partner until that night. He dissassociated from our daughter calling her an "it" and a "thing." He is by nature a non-violent Buddhist and conscientious objector. But ask the Sherriffs who ended up with stiches, bruises and abrasions how non violent he was when he was delusional. This was right after he was telling them how much he loved everyone on the planet.
Unless you are considerably larger than him you won't be able to stop him if he begins to act out. I just lucked out and gave him a mean right hook to the eye and ran like hell.
If he's doing it for attention give it to him by calling his Dr. That ought to get a little attention you'd hpoe.
......also,if i understood you correctly you said your husband was going to be gone for a week?
where is he going that his current behavior & being out on his own with it doesn't worry the hell out of you?
maybe the trip is causing him anxiety that's triggering his delusions?
really bonnie..this sounds very very scary.like i said before...youre a better woman than me.i'd be terrified out of my skin.
God could not be everywhere, so
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