Was stable, now very sad
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| Tue, 03-21-2006 - 6:48pm |
It always seems like whenever my bp is under control and I am having no extreme moods and life is just plain going well, something has to happen to ruin it.
I answered an ad to volunteer with an autistic boy. I thought I'd do well at it, because I am mildly autistic myself. Then after a few meetings, the mother said she wasn't sure I was the right choice, that my face wasn't animate enough. I took offense at this, because I have been complimented on my facial expression in conducting more than once, including by a prof who didn't even like me.
Now, I understand that an animate face may help, and I think I can do that in the future. But, shouldn't it get me a few points that I understand the workings of his mind better than most, since I am autistic too? I know when they are hiring drug counselors they usually only hire ones that have previous drug problems themselves, isn't that a good policy for other things?
She is giving me a trial run tomorrow after lunch, and I am terrified. I know I am going to be under a microscope, and I find it difficult to work under those conditions.
You know, I just want to be a success at something. I was a music teacher for a year, couldn't get along with the principal (though I was not the only one who couldn't). I still would like to teach, or work in the autism field. But both in teaching and in autism, being bipolar and autistic seems to be something the higher ups don't trust. I have a master's degree. Am I doomed to a life of low-level jobs?
Express.
Beth "Petrouchka"

If your masters is in music what about some kind of music therapy for autistic children?
It sounds like you really have a lot to offer.
My MM is in conducting. I might work in the autism field for a bit, because I won't be able to teach until I go back to school and I can't do that until I get my residency and get some bills paid, but teaching is my end goal. I like talking about music all day, and I don't think I could do that in therapy, even music therapy (which I will not pursue at all since it would require even more school for me than teaching and I'm not that interested in it).
I don't think that just because I didn't get along with one psycho principal that I shouldn't teach. Many people have told me I can teach well. I intend to prove that. It's just that right now I feel a bit discouraged...
Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"
It is so hard to try and find someone to do anything with your own child.
God could not be everywhere, so
Beth,
Don't take it too personally, I think Donna is right about it just being an overprotective mom.