he sounds very much like my bipoalr partner who was diagnosed only 6 months a go. While I was pregnant his mood would go from "our life together is perfect" to "the only reason I am with you is because your preganant". I was not allowed to go thru any of the emotional stuff a pregnant woman goes through without being told I was negative and going to be a terrible mother and I should just give him the baby because I was going to f it up, blah, balh, balh. Six weks before my due date I came home and he told me he was moving out, yet when I started packing his stuff he cried and told me "I can't believe your going to throw me out." Then last year when our daughter turned one he was working on a job away from home. He begged me to come be with him then went through a daily cycle of being angry, pissy and annoyed with me to wanting to make love and tell me how wonderful me and our daughter were. It was very confusing. He had a psychotic break six months ago, dissassociated form our daughter, assaulted me and ended up in a mental hospital where he was finally diagnosed. His mother blamed me even though she will admit he was suicidally depressed "a couple of times in high school" but they didn't do anything because he didn't want the help so they didn't it would work.
You are lucky if your mil is on your side, beleieve me. Mine has ruined my trust in her forever. Based on behavior she continued even after his diagnosis.
Get him to go get help. I know being pregnant you already feel very vulnerable and you are. The stress you are affected by stresses your fetus and floods its brain with stress hormones. If he knows what he is doing is bad for the baby USE that to force him to get help. or I personally would give him an ultimatum. Get help or move out, you and your baby don't need the stress. Stress during pregnancy can lead to a more difficult labor and delivery and you don't need that. It is important for a woman to feel safe to deliver or labor can actually be stalled. It's critical to you and your childs saftey that he deals with this. Please don't fall into the trap of "oh I can't survive without his money and all that." there ARE resources out there for you especially when pregnant. Also, more than likely if you make that ultimatum he may get the help he needs to keep from losing you guys.
This is all just my opinion based on my experience. But believe me you don't need this man having a psychotic break. Calling your child and it and a thing as mine did. Dragging you out of the house screaming and naked. You just don't . the stress of parenthood, particularly new motherhood is incredible. Do everything to take care of yourself as soon as possible.
My partner is relatively satble now and we are in counseling to deal with some of the trust issues I developed based on my experience and how as a couple to deal with his bipolar.
Extreme moods are part of bipolar and borderline personality disorder, but no one here can make that call for you. The only way to find out is to talk to a psychiatrist. I don't know if that's something he'd do or not.
The only thing you should worry about is yourself. You are probably exhausting yourself in your efforts to make him happy and you shouldn't have to. I'm not saying let it all fall apart either, but you have to take care of yourself. Do things that are soothing to you and try not to let his words cut you so deeply if you can.
Again, my humble opinion which doesn't count for much.
Well....you really need to try and convince him to see a tdoc or pdoc.
God could not be everywhere, so
He has been acting like this since we got together.
Heather Bryla
http://preg.fertilityfriend.com/pregticker/b3d2c/p
if his mother is even saying he was this way before...why didn't she take him to a doctor a long time ago?
God could not be everywhere, so
he sounds very much like my bipoalr partner who was diagnosed only 6 months a go. While I was pregnant his mood would go from "our life together is perfect" to "the only reason I am with you is because your preganant". I was not allowed to go thru any of the emotional stuff a pregnant woman goes through without being told I was negative and going to be a terrible mother and I should just give him the baby because I was going to f it up, blah, balh, balh. Six weks before my due date I came home and he told me he was moving out, yet when I started packing his stuff he cried and told me "I can't believe your going to throw me out."
Then last year when our daughter turned one he was working on a job away from home. He begged me to come be with him then went through a daily cycle of being angry, pissy and annoyed with me to wanting to make love and tell me how wonderful me and our daughter were. It was very confusing.
He had a psychotic break six months ago, dissassociated form our daughter, assaulted me and ended up in a mental hospital where he was finally diagnosed. His mother blamed me even though she will admit he was suicidally depressed "a couple of times in high school" but they didn't do anything because he didn't want the help so they didn't it would work.
You are lucky if your mil is on your side, beleieve me. Mine has ruined my trust in her forever. Based on behavior she continued even after his diagnosis.
Get him to go get help. I know being pregnant you already feel very vulnerable and you are. The stress you are affected by stresses your fetus and floods its brain with stress hormones. If he knows what he is doing is bad for the baby USE that to force him to get help. or I personally would give him an ultimatum. Get help or move out, you and your baby don't need the stress. Stress during pregnancy can lead to a more difficult labor and delivery and you don't need that. It is important for a woman to feel safe to deliver or labor can actually be stalled. It's critical to you and your childs saftey that he deals with this.
Please don't fall into the trap of "oh I can't survive without his money and all that." there ARE resources out there for you especially when pregnant. Also, more than likely if you make that ultimatum he may get the help he needs to keep from losing you guys.
This is all just my opinion based on my experience. But believe me you don't need this man having a psychotic break. Calling your child and it and a thing as mine did. Dragging you out of the house screaming and naked. You just don't . the stress of parenthood, particularly new motherhood is incredible. Do everything to take care of yourself as soon as possible.
My partner is relatively satble now and we are in counseling to deal with some of the trust issues I developed based on my experience and how as a couple to deal with his bipolar.
((((HUGS)
Extreme moods are part of bipolar and borderline personality disorder, but no one here can make that call for you. The only way to find out is to talk to a psychiatrist. I don't know if that's something he'd do or not.
The only thing you should worry about is yourself. You are probably exhausting yourself in your efforts to make him happy and you shouldn't have to. I'm not saying let it all fall apart either, but you have to take care of yourself. Do things that are soothing to you and try not to let his words cut you so deeply if you can.
Again, my humble opinion which doesn't count for much.