news from my appointments
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| Thu, 03-23-2006 - 8:28pm |
first was my appointment was with the lawyer. and basically told me the same thing the high priced attorney told me. she's going to draft a letter only this one will go directly to xh because he's not using an attorney. she's asking for the increase and to have the money automatically taken out of his check. she thinks he'll willingly go for this to keep court costs down. it took all i had not to laugh at her. i know him, but that's a different story. if the letter doesn't yield the results i'm after, it will go to court. the attorney seems confident that either way i will come out with what my kids deserve. so, i have to borrow $2500 from my mother for the retainer and she's already made a crack about it making me feel like a total loser. but the wheels are in motion at any rate.
then, my tdoc (also dd's tdoc) made extra time for me after dd's appointment today. she wants me to call pdoc 'cause my depression is back. and while we both agree that it's situational, she thinks pdoc ought to be clued in. in addition, the zyprexa is totally making me gain too much weight. since i've started on it i've gained at least 20 pounds. 10 of which i could use, but now it's still accumulating and i'm ready to swear off of food. she didn't like that comment much. so i told her i'd call pdoc. i just wish everything that is "in limbo" right now would hurry up and find resolution. i want to get to a place where i can at least be in a decent mood again. and i know it's the lack of finality of dealing with the ex, switching schools has become a problem, trying to find a new job and getting nowhere fast. on top of it i'm sick of cold weather and ready for warmer weather. i just feel overwhelmed again. i've got to try and fight the feeling because that's always the start of a bad depressive cycle. tdoc knows it and i know it. i just don't know how to fight it.
so all in all i guess the lawyer appointment went as well as i could have expected and tdoc was ok, she at least knows what's going on with me and wants me to check in with her at some point over the weekend. i seriously thought that was behind me, but i was wrong.
traci



God could not be everywhere, so
nope...you are BP...its not ever going to be behind you and maybe that is what you have to accept...i'm right there at that same place with you! i can't accept that either...but i have to, and it sucks. i'm stuck in a bad depression too...can't get out of it...don't know how...period. have to reschedule a pdoc appt for monday for after 3/31, cuz i can't afford it...but its just something i have to do...i'm on 150 of wellbutrin, have been for 5 weeks now...its not working...i have to increase it to 300...well, have to convince pdoc of that fact too...it all sucks! but we have to keep doing what we have to do to make it through ONE DAY ONLY. that is all we can do.
so you will check in with your tdoc this weekend...and you will do only as much as you can do. yeah, the whole lawyer thing sucks too...but its all you have right now.
a lot of crap we have to just suck up and deal with...and i'm really sorry. i wish we didn't.
hang in there...k?
love you.
I know zyprexa is evil for weight gain, but I know you needed it hun. And I bet 20lbs doesn't look all that bad on you either. I gained 30 with depakote and I was underweight at the time.
I'm glad that it looks like you are going to get the money you need for your kids. Legal fees do suck though.
Keep hanging in there.