i don't need this now...
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i don't need this now...
| Fri, 03-24-2006 - 10:29am |
how do i explain this?
i have a friend who i've known forever....now i'm even friends with his wife & have taken care of his kid & i have also worked with his sister.he was the person i called when i was suicidal & the only one who didn't hang up on me.he was the only one who was still speaking to me when i got out.
he is enourmously happily married & many years ago did his 12 steps & apparently to me traded his substance addiction for a sexual one.i mean this man brags about needing to climax 6-8 times a day.
i don't think it's funny.
2 years or so ago he had a dream about me that caused him to decide to prey on me to an uncomfortable degree.when i was over the top manic i just decided to go for it.we went thru a time when i hated him & avoided him & then we became good friends again.
this man comes across as PERFECT to the rest of the world...bigwig in church,job,you name it.
BUT when he gets in a mood he starts on me to a very uncomfortable degree.i could be crying how uncomfortable he makes me & he won't quit.his reasons WHY i shouldn't be uncomfortable make me uncomfortable.
if he wants me he would ask to screw me while my kids are home.it's a sickness i'm telling you.but he feels i should be flattered.
the calls have started again.my doorbell has started ringing again(the way i look & i smell i wouldn't answer for the ups man)
i ignore the phone messages & hide when the bell rings,but now it's like "susan...what's wrong?are you ok?why don't you call?
so of course i feel guilty.& cause i'm depressed the guilty feeling gets all twisted.like I'M the bad party here.
i think i'm doing just what my shrink would suggest.
i'm telling you i don't know what is what.if i spoke to him he would say he just wanted to know if i was ok & then talk about himself for an hour.but then again i think the other stuff would start.& i'd feel just awful.
i can't explain how it makes me feel.like used garbage
i have a friend who i've known forever....now i'm even friends with his wife & have taken care of his kid & i have also worked with his sister.he was the person i called when i was suicidal & the only one who didn't hang up on me.he was the only one who was still speaking to me when i got out.
he is enourmously happily married & many years ago did his 12 steps & apparently to me traded his substance addiction for a sexual one.i mean this man brags about needing to climax 6-8 times a day.
i don't think it's funny.
2 years or so ago he had a dream about me that caused him to decide to prey on me to an uncomfortable degree.when i was over the top manic i just decided to go for it.we went thru a time when i hated him & avoided him & then we became good friends again.
this man comes across as PERFECT to the rest of the world...bigwig in church,job,you name it.
BUT when he gets in a mood he starts on me to a very uncomfortable degree.i could be crying how uncomfortable he makes me & he won't quit.his reasons WHY i shouldn't be uncomfortable make me uncomfortable.
if he wants me he would ask to screw me while my kids are home.it's a sickness i'm telling you.but he feels i should be flattered.
the calls have started again.my doorbell has started ringing again(the way i look & i smell i wouldn't answer for the ups man)
i ignore the phone messages & hide when the bell rings,but now it's like "susan...what's wrong?are you ok?why don't you call?
so of course i feel guilty.& cause i'm depressed the guilty feeling gets all twisted.like I'M the bad party here.
i think i'm doing just what my shrink would suggest.
i'm telling you i don't know what is what.if i spoke to him he would say he just wanted to know if i was ok & then talk about himself for an hour.but then again i think the other stuff would start.& i'd feel just awful.
i can't explain how it makes me feel.like used garbage

as you and i have talked about before...i know exactly how you feel...EXACTLY...and i almost almost almost got back into this same kind of thing just a week or two ago...but DO NOT CALL, ANSWER THE PHONE, OR THE DOOR! I had to stop answering my phone, then finally, i had to get into an argument on purpose, and end up with guilty feelings and hurt ones too...but they were FAKE! NOT REAL!!! DO NOT BELIEVE THEM! Okay? Its the STUPID FREAKING BP talking to you right now, so don't listen. You're better than this...listen to ME! Not BP...Not this "friend". He's not your friend either BTW. My "friend" was there for me too, when I was suicidal too...but then later only wanted sex...and used it against me...when I was manic I was the most perfect girlfriend in the world...but then when I wasn't manic anymore, oh hell no! I wasn't...don't listen to him.
Keep talking here, and get it all out as much as you want...
Love you
So sorry that you have to go through something like this. I wouldn't like his treatment one bit. I'd say that's sexual harassment. You have every right to feel uncomfortable.
I assume you have told him that you're uncomfortable with this and that's where he'd come in with "you should be flattered"
Don't let him guilt trip you. Stand up for yourself and if you can't deal with him without this nonsense then I'd say he