Touch & smell and how it affects you
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| Tue, 04-04-2006 - 6:47pm |
Okay so a post I just read here prompted this. I posted a similar message to a love/sex board and one of the CLs there had mentioned that she was BP and had heard of similar issues and that this board might be helpful that's how I found this place a few months ago.
So here goes:
I am often irritated by my BF. I never thought it was related to my BP I just thought it was an unusual reaction to him. I care about him deeply and love him very much. But there are days where I swear the smell of him and his touch just makes me want to vomit. I have been known to recoil when he tries to comfort me. He does not take it well. He even once accused me of be uncaring, cold and aloof. And said that he wanted to be with someone that was warm and caring. We no longer really have this argument but for a while it was a nearly everyday thing. few days ago he tried to comfort me by rubbing my back and hugging me and well I felt very uncomfortable and irritated by this and shrugged him off of me. He really wasn't doing anything hurtful i new he was trying to comfort me he ultimately threw up his arms and mumbled something and walked away. I felt bad but i didn't say anything, what could i say...I know your try to comfort me but your smell and touch make me want to vomit.
At other times I am just completely depressed if he isn't around all the time. Nutty I know but we both travel often for work and sometimes I swear i become more accident prone or sick when he is away. (Once while he as in Japan for 3 months i fainted on the subway was taken to the hospital, there was no way he was going to be able to come home but i called him any way asked him to fly home.) When is contracts are over and he comes home usually within 3 days I am telling him to go back to were ever he just was or get out and leave me alone. Because he is simply irritating me. I don't think there has ever really been an infraction of any kind that would have warranted me kicking him out but i have broken up with him many times over the years just to mend fences and get back together.
So now i am back to my question that i posted on the other board. Is this a symptom of a bad relationship, my BP or is this him falling out of my favor? I don't want him out of my life, but i know it can't be pleasant for him to have a GF that is either pushing him away or crying on the phone telling him to come home ASAP and then giving him the cold shoulder. Side bar we almost never have sex i have no LIBDO-- zip. I can't blame it on rx'ed meds because i am not on any. (See previous posts.) Is there anyone else that has had or is experiencing similar types or issues?
thanks for any feed back,
Christine

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I so know what you mean!!!! My husband and I are both mildly autistic, and those with autism are often hyper-sensitive to odor, touch, light and sound. I have a situation like yours- even though I love my hubby very much and we DO have a great relationship, sometimes the smell of his body or his breath makes me want to puke. Sometimes when he gets amorous, I suffer in silence for a bit, then politely ask him to use some mouthwash. He gets embarrassed when I ask him this, but knows I don't mean to hurt him, and then he uses the mouthwash and I am then very happy to be near him.
Could you also be mildly autistic? It's a thought. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 26 (I was dxed bipolar at 20).
I really doubt your relationship is in trouble. Besides the hypersensitivity thing, many women also have low libidos. I do think you may want to go to a pdoc and see what is going on, though. He could evaluate you both for bp and autism.
Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"
this is an interesting observation. i will have to think about that.
I always thought it was a weird me thing. I found this other post here after i made mine were other women mentioned similar issue.
thanks for you thoughts,
Christine
Well, I'm not with anyone currently, but in the past, "doing it" always started with a nice, sexy shower.
Always.
It's just gross otherwise.
And I have asked my boyfriends in the past to brush their teeth before they kiss me.
Just tonight, I was getting a little stressed dealing with my daughter's IEP meeting prep for tomorrow, and she kept just getting too close to me, and it was bugging the hell out of me.
I used to tell people my "aura" would hurt!
Maybe i should have said this before but my boyfriend does stink or smell bad it just bothers me? does that make sense. It not that he smells dirty or unclean. it just makes me want to vomit when i smell him sometimes. NMo reason just does. I know it is weird, but his touch does the same thing to me. Again i say i know it sounds weird. He is not hurting me nor does he actually smell bad it is just some kind of response my body has to him sometimes. I could cover him in chocolate but i am not sure it would work.
Does this make any sense? maybe i should just be quite now.. oh hey someone else replied i read what they wrote.
christine
opps i accidentally posted that my boyfriend smells bad and he really doesn't.. please forgive me DBF if you read this. you don't stink i swear. you smell very nice...
Christine
"Side bar we almost never have sex i have no LIBDO-- zip."
Ditto!
As for the touch thing: I was told long ago that people with ADD/ADHD often are irritated by continual touching or rubbing. I have BP & ADD. continual touch, such as having my husband put his arm around me and rub my shoulder drives me nuts! Can't stand it. Is it the ADD or BP? I don't know.
Touch in general though, aside from a touch like I mentioned above, does quite often bother me as well. My husband is the worst, probably because he's the biggest. I don't like sitting to close to him or having my kids hang on me. It just really bothers me, but yet I give hugs all the time so it isn't that I just don't like touching people.
I always thought it was just me.
its not just you.
So glad to hear there are other dealing with this. I wonder sometime about just HOW much folks really know about out illness.
I was reading a few different studies lately one on Shadow illnesses (like "mild autism") and another on co-morbidity in BP and other MHI and mood disorders. I hear about some many others folks that are dx'ed with Seasonal Affective disorder (which let me tell you i for one know that my depression is worse in the fall and winter DUH less sun = more depressed) I used to think if i approached all my symptoms individually and treated them as if they were their own illness unrelated to other things my body was doing. I don't know i am rambling. Head has been acing all day. very little sleep last night and having a tough time concentrating.
oh gee i need to get of the internet now my brian hurts.
night ladies,
christine
Christine, I definitely know how you feel. ((((((((HUGS)))))))) I'm sorry you're in this difficult position. I think it really has more to do with your BP than any other factor. There may be other factors, so please be open to exploring and processing those if/when they come up, but it is probably just your BP. I went through the same thing with my husband (sometimes still do), especially with his touch. I'm finding, just my opinion, that those feelings are tied to unresolved issues I have with him, which trigger mixed episodes or depressive episodes of BP. But since "he" triggered me, I feel upset with him or turned off or revolted by him, rather than admit the real issue. I am learning to admit the real issue, but it's a slow process. Sometimes you know there's something, but you're not sure what, so that makes processing any issue difficult. (You can't deal with it if you don't know what it is!)
Good luck and please let us know what else you discover, and how you're doing with it!
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