Touch & smell and how it affects you

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Touch & smell and how it affects you
12
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 6:47pm

Okay so a post I just read here prompted this. I posted a similar message to a love/sex board and one of the CLs there had mentioned that she was BP and had heard of similar issues and that this board might be helpful that's how I found this place a few months ago.

So here goes:
I am often irritated by my BF. I never thought it was related to my BP I just thought it was an unusual reaction to him. I care about him deeply and love him very much. But there are days where I swear the smell of him and his touch just makes me want to vomit. I have been known to recoil when he tries to comfort me. He does not take it well. He even once accused me of be uncaring, cold and aloof. And said that he wanted to be with someone that was warm and caring. We no longer really have this argument but for a while it was a nearly everyday thing. few days ago he tried to comfort me by rubbing my back and hugging me and well I felt very uncomfortable and irritated by this and shrugged him off of me. He really wasn't doing anything hurtful i new he was trying to comfort me he ultimately threw up his arms and mumbled something and walked away. I felt bad but i didn't say anything, what could i say...I know your try to comfort me but your smell and touch make me want to vomit.

At other times I am just completely depressed if he isn't around all the time. Nutty I know but we both travel often for work and sometimes I swear i become more accident prone or sick when he is away. (Once while he as in Japan for 3 months i fainted on the subway was taken to the hospital, there was no way he was going to be able to come home but i called him any way asked him to fly home.) When is contracts are over and he comes home usually within 3 days I am telling him to go back to were ever he just was or get out and leave me alone. Because he is simply irritating me. I don't think there has ever really been an infraction of any kind that would have warranted me kicking him out but i have broken up with him many times over the years just to mend fences and get back together.

So now i am back to my question that i posted on the other board. Is this a symptom of a bad relationship, my BP or is this him falling out of my favor? I don't want him out of my life, but i know it can't be pleasant for him to have a GF that is either pushing him away or crying on the phone telling him to come home ASAP and then giving him the cold shoulder. Side bar we almost never have sex i have no LIBDO-- zip. I can't blame it on rx'ed meds because i am not on any. (See previous posts.) Is there anyone else that has had or is experiencing similar types or issues?

thanks for any feed back,
Christine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 11:26am
Ladies, I just have to add that I go thro the same stuff. I can't stand my bf touching me or my kids hanging on me. It even upsets me that when my dd wants me to put my arms around her, I can't. I make up some excuse. My bf has a very hard time dealing with this. It makes him feel unwanted. I've tried to explain it as best I can to him but he don't understand. I thinks I don't want him. We don't have sex either. I can't stand it. I always tell him it is my meds.
 
 
 
 

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 10:21pm
"I'm finding, just my opinion, that those feelings are tied to unresolved issues I have with him, which trigger mixed episodes or depressive episodes of BP. But since "he" triggered me, I feel upset with him or turned off or revolted by him, rather than admit the real issue."
Same here! I know that is a big part of my problem as well.

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