Bethie baby...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Bethie baby...
2
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 2:45pm

just wanted you to know that i'm feeling oh so much better...things seemed to work out really good actually...he didn't mean anything he said, he was just angry at the time because of the call log thing...i'm no longer out spying and looking for anything either...too much drama for me. i have put too much work into myself getting better to worry about anything else...so i'm letting it go...if something happens, it does...but i think its okay.

how are you doing? okay? pdoc tomorrow?

post me if you can...if not, i'll be on Y.

love you tons.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2004
In reply to: keli003
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 12:49am

oh babes, i'm so glad ur ok! i've been so worried! sounds like you were able to sit and talk about things... and you're coming out from this stronger than ever. (((keli)))

anything else going on you wanna talk about? i should be around this weekend. im not planning on going to my brothers, so ill try to be around on y at night.

as for me, im crazy cycling still. right now im so manicky! i launched full out rubber band/paperclip warfare in the office today. omg it was so hilarious. no matter who told me to cut it the f out, id just shoot them as soon as they walked away. lmfao. \hahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! then i had stupid dbt. then i went shopping!!! and just got home at midnight. i even went to walmart after all the other stores closed and walked around there for like 2 hrs. (and i HATE, HATE HATE LOOOOAAAATTTHE walmart)

i bought about a dozen dvds this week (all violent of course... natural born killers, taxi driver, etc.) and bunch of cds (danzig, misfits, sex pistols etc.) LOL. i have WAY too much energy!!! and of course, new clothes. clothes shopping is actually fun now! im gonna get my hair done on sat. too. can't wait! i want something totally new.

umm... what else, yeah, seeing pdoc tomorrow. he had me up seroquel at night. ive been bad tho... i started drinking again. havent been for months. but ive drank every nigth this week. and if i knew that i could ask this guy at work about scoring some other stuff w/o the whole world knowing, i'd be so there.

well it is spring. and i was totally manic last spring. yeah, that had a TON to do with getting messed up at i/p, but i've got some serious seasonality going on. in dec. i was seriously depressed. now in april again i'm totally flying. i actually drove by jake's mom's yesterday to see if his truck was outside... bad beth! behave.

anyway, im still wide a-freaking-wake so maybe i'll pop in some kill bill.

talk to you later babes!

love ya!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: keli003
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 8:33am

hey baby girrrrrrrlll...i'm not manic...but i'm not depressed either, and omg, i started a/f yesterday with hardly any bother from pms, except that little bit of drama with that girl and all...i was so freaking in shock. i am not eating again...well, a tiny bit...i ate a small bowl of spaghetti last night, UGH. NO APPETITE whatsoever...remember when we talked on Y about that???? i had to force it, to take my lithium...the lithium even only 300 mgs is keeping me from flying right now too...thank god i have it...i would be in so much trouble...i bought size 16 capri jeans...i know its still a big size, but from a 20 to 16 ON lithium...lol...i'll get there...and XL shirts are too big...i lost 2 pounds this week even tho i have a/f, and that's pretty cool...so i'll get there...only bad thing is this...i started drinking soda again...even though it tastes like A$$. i'm drinkin it...like 1 a day...but still...

so glad its friday...not going to my parents and my dad is mad about it...and not going next wknd either...and he wants to go play and i don't care. i barely talk to them anymore, and i love it...i know its gonna blow up, they're gonna call me with this whole why don't i care thing soon...ugh.

i'm still freaking out a bit about eric...when i go to bed at night, wondering is he calling her...but that's just the whole OCD thinking thing going on...it'll get better...then he had to work last night, and i just knew it wasn't work...but it was...i have to relax and get over it...but its not going to be easy.

love you...talk soon. oh btw, i got my hair done this past wknd...blonde, and finally got it layered...so its above my shoulders, full and layered...and finally blonde again...love it...