Still in Schock (trigs?)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Still in Schock (trigs?)
8
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 8:06am

Folks, things were going very well for me. I am in the final planning stages for my wedding next month, and for awhile it was the time of joy it should be. Then, I got some news from home. My mom, who has had breast cancer for a number of years, recently found it had spread for the second time, and this time she doesn't want to fight it. She's going into hospice care. I found out about this three days ago, and I cannot come to terms with it. I respect her decision to die in peace and comfort, but there are all these things running through my head, like who am I going to call when I need help with teaching (she taught chemistry and I teach music), or need to know how to roast a chicken? I know my mom is frail and suffering, but I am not ready to lose her- I have not yet prepared myself.

So far, nothing is set in stone, but since I can't work right now anyway, I am considering going back home to Phoenix for an extended time after my honeymoon. I have already made arrangements to get my medicine.

Any other suggestions? I'm open to all sorts of ideas!

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

Avatar for missyflanders
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 8:10am

I am so sorry Beth. I wish I knew what to tell you. If your future husband is OK with you going home for a little while, I would definately do it. Spend as much time with your mom as you can. Hugs. We are here for you.

Missy

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 9:23am

I'm so sorry you are going thru this, and your mom.

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 10:42am

My heart goes out to you. I remember after my dad was diagnosed with cancer I was on pin and needles for the rest of his life. Every one of those darned tests, waiting for it to spread, whatever.

I have absolutely no advice for you, but know that you'll do what you eventually "feel" is right. Pay attention to your heart, and if you pray, consider turning this one over to your higher power. The "right" thing to do will become clear.

Love, prayers and positive thoughts, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 11:39am

Beth, I'm so very sorry...I don't know what to say. I hope you'll be able to spend as much time with your mom as possible and enjoy the time you have left...I can't imagine how hard that must be. And I feel awful about posting on and on about my own very minor issues that are absolutely nothing in comparison...I'm sorry.

Best wishes,

Rose

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 4:15pm

Sorry to hear of your news. Of course it is natural that this would bring you down. And you shouldn't expect yourself to be able to accept it right away. You mom thinks she's doing what's best for her and that makes it the right decision for her. You may not think so, but that's okay. You are entitled to feel that way


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 5:35pm

Maybe I should make it clear that I in no way disapprove of my mother's decision. I support it, and think I understand it. I just haven't prepared myself for this is all.

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2006
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 6:32am

Oh Beth, I am so sorry! I can't imagine what you are going through. I would definitely go spend time with your mother. I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers.

(((Hugs))) Renee

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 10:19am
I see. Sorry. Sometimes I don't pick up on the subtle things people are saying. Still know that you are entitled to feel the way you do and take as long as you need to get to acceptance.
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