I have a divorce question for those of

Avatar for missyflanders
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I have a divorce question for those of
4
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 9:06am

you who have been divorced.

I am pretty sure my marriage is ending. If he does not end it, I may have to. I am being threatened daily with divorce over stupid things. He has admitted he probably does not love my anymore and that I am no longer his best friend. Now he is re thinking counseling yet again. I just can't live like this anymore.

My question is, will the courts ever allow the custodial parent to move out of state? My mom has several job leads for me and they are more than willing to help with finances and childcare. I have a ton more family and help in MA then I do here. I am not sure if dh would fight it or not. Sometimes he says he would sometimes he says it would be fine. Anyone know the answer on this? I know it sounds awful that I would consider bringing my kids that far from thier father, but dh is not really a hands on type dad, when he has mentioned custody arrangements he has said "you'll let them call right" or "sometimes on weekends right". And this would not be anything I would do right away. I am still seriously looking for a job. I would definately want the kids to finish school here to give me more time to find a job too. My first choice is to keep them close to thier Dad, but if that won't work, we need to survive too.

Missy

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 9:27am

I moved out of state during the seperation/divorce process...mind you it was only one state and the trip is only about 40 minutes one way.

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Registered: 07-21-2005
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 12:48pm

Missy,
When I went to court for custody of my son I was allowed to leave the state with him. My ex lived in Louisiana and I moved to Florida. The stipulation was that if the ex wanted to visit my son in Florida I had to give up the child support for that month so he could spend it on a plane or bus ticket and hotel room or whatever to come see my son. There was no question about it, I dont think it will be a problem, but like Donna said, I would talk to a Lawyer first and definitely a woman lawyer. Good luck hon and I am soooo sorry you are having to go through this. You are a wonderful woman and a great mom and its too bad he cant see that in you.

Rebekah

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Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 1:15pm

I know several people who have moved their children out of state with them. You will probably have to go before a judge and show how it is a benefit to yourself and the child(ren) to move, but that usually isn't a problem. If you aren't working here, or only make a little money, and can show that you will have family help and a better job there, they will approve it.

Good luck!!
Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 4:43pm

missy - unfortunately each state differs on that. i know that when i got divorced i had to notify the court as well as my ex of any intention to move 60 days in advance of such a move. it was not restricted to within state but the time allowed for my ex to make a case to prevent it. on the other hand, my ex has to do the same (although he's moved 3 or 4 times since without doing so). but, he has stayed in the state. now if i were to attempt to move out of state you'd better believe he'd do everything in his power to stop me. but that's just because he's an idiot.


and i agree with donna. document EVERYTHING! it's crucial when it all comes down to the bottom line and also what she said about getting a female lawyer. if i had done that the first go around i doubt i'd have to go back to court now, but i didn't then so now i have to spend more money to get my kids what they deserve.


hope this helps some. i'll answer anything i can for you any time.


hugs,


traci