My stability is at risk and I don't know
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| Tue, 04-18-2006 - 8:16pm |
what to do.
With everything that has been going on with my marriage, I have been sick. If you really must know, I get the runs quite frequently. And I think I am having trouble keeping all my meds in me. The last few days I have noticed my temper getting shorter with the kids and dh. I am generally not happy (but who would be under the circumstances) and I just want to lay in bed all day. I am not. I am still managing to function and everything but I find it getting harder and harder. I am not eating a whole lot to stop the problem. It seems to go away some when dh is working. I find myself dwelling on the fact that I am not finding a job despite the fact that I am faxing out a ton of resumes daily. I feel very unwanted by companies and dh. I think if I found a job, with some health insurance, I may feel a little more secure and may be able to make some friends, which I know I desperately need. I have lost 10 pounds lately, which I love, but I need to keep my meds in me. Any suggestions? I need to not scream at the kids and lose my patience. I may be tearing thier little world apart soon and I HATE THAT. So I feel guilty about that too. If I lose my stability, I don't know what I will do. I need that to make the right decisions. Please help. If it was constant, I would try immodium but it is not like that.
Missy


Hey honey...I feel the same exact way...but my ds is MUCH older than your kids are. I am losing any stability I finally gained and I hate it, and I hate dh for it. I hate the NOT KNOWING part. He was fine last night. Better, anyway. Its not fair, to us, our lives, our BP, our stability, our health...any of it, and they freaking should know better! I am very passive aggressive...Bad, I know...so I let things build up to a point that is dangerous and then I blow up and its ugly.
I am a mess inside...my stomach is ALWAYS hurting...I only eat dinner...I haven't lost much weight, 4 pounds I think...
Your problem is nerves. I take Ativan. I wish you had some. It helps a lot. It really really does. You should call your pdoc and ask for some...explain EXACTLY what is going on with you and your H and that your marriage MAY be ending and that you need something for ANXIETY attacks, nerves...ask specifically for Ativan...that you have friends in a support group for BP, that take it, and it helps them.
We have to get through this...we have NO other choice.
Love you. I really wish we were all closer. I have no friends either. So, even if I wanted to, I have nothing to do if I left my house. So I stay in bed too when I can. And that just only makes it worse.
Keli
do you have your resume posted on monster.com?
God could not be everywhere, so