I need an opinion.....

Avatar for missyflanders
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I need an opinion.....
5
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 2:08pm

H's uncle died this past weekend. He did not tell me about it, his mom did. His mom also was the one to tell me about the arrangements. H has still not told me about it. Nor has he set up his counseling session, like he is really working on our marriage. Would it be really bad if I just skipped the service? I have not yet made any sitter arrangements and ds has his first soccer game of the season at the same time. I feel like if he wanted me there, he should have mentioned it. They were not extremely close or anything and it was not unexpected, so it is not like he is in shock or anything. I could buy the kids outfits, skip the game and make us all go but the kids barely knew him and I hate to do that to them. I could find them a sitter they barely know and pay the sitter and go, but really, why bother if he does not want me there? What would you do? In the past, I would have gone without question, but he also would have told me about it. If I don't go, am I just giving up on the marriage? Or has it already been given up on?

Missy

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 2:24pm

Honey...the marriage has been given up on, AT THIS POINT IN TIME. What I mean is this...you're right...if he wanted you told, he would have told you. Let him go himself...you and the kids go on about your OWN lives. He's being an A$$ and I know that feeling VERY well right now. I'm sorry. We shouldn't have to go through this.

He is making no effort. You need to work on YOU and you alone right now. Focus on YOU and getting a job. Do what you have to do to be a better friend to YOURSELF. Okay?

I hate them.

But we'll be just fine, watch and see. Better, even. And one day soon, we're going to wake up and BE SO HAPPY! I'm already so much happier at work than I am at home with H.

That says a million words right there. Ya know what I mean?

Don't go. I wouldn't. He started this...let him do what he wants.

Love you,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 2:24pm

Maybe you should ask your husband and see what he says?

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 4:16pm

I kinda feel the same way as Keli does on this one....he is choosing to not tell you things and the fact he has not scheduled counceling, well its a slap in your face.

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Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 5:42pm
i'm totally with keli & donna here...as well as your own instincts.stick to your original plan.don't go.i wouldn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 9:06pm

Missy,


I agree with Keli, Donna & others--I wouldn't go.