has anyone ever.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
has anyone ever.....
5
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 10:28am

been not depressed and not manic but felt really restless and self destructive? that's how i've been feeling the past couple of days and can't explain it. i know it's getting worse because my mind is in overdrive about things that i can do but really shouldn't but then don't really care but know i should care? does any of that make sense?


i haven't had an actual tdoc appointment in about a month. every week when i take dd, she sets aside like 15 minutes to "check in" but i'm afraid to say anything because she'll want me to come in for a session and i don't have the money for that.


i don't know. if anyone has any insight i'd really appreciate some input.


thanks,


traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2005
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 10:35am

I totally understand. I get that way when I notice myself changing. I get like that first then get all depressed and numb a few days later and thats where I am at right now. I used to call doc and let them know and if they wanted me to come in and I to didn't have the money I was upfront with them and they usually worked with me and just talked to me on the phone a bit to help me cope and sometimes if it was bad enough they would cut the cost and then let me make some payments on it. It is worth the try to ask. What do you have to lose? I have been really forcing myself to keep busy these past few days to try to keep my mind off of it and it has helped a bit. I re-arranged the furniture, vacumed from top to bottom, did the windows and some walking. I didnt want to do any of it, it was a real effort let me tell you but it is paying off. Plus I keep reading and posting here and all of you have really help me with the past few days. I wish you the best in the times and remember they will pass. Huggs

Jo

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 10:54am

does tdoc know you quit smoking?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 11:03am

yeah, i told her last week that i had quit, of course now i'm back to trying to quit but anyway.... it's not pms as i just got rid of a/f. i was wondering if the smoking cessation had something to do with it. dd has an appointment today so i guess i'll ask her then. i just feel really strange. i just want whatever it is to pass before i do something totally stupid.


and, yes she is all too well aware of my monetary situation. she knows that's why i'm not making appointments for me anymore. i've got to get dd stable first. thanks for the input.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 11:08am

thanks jo. it's almost maddening feeling this way. i can't even say it's a mixed mood. but dd meets with tdoc today so i might mention it to tdoc when she does the check in with me. i'm trying to keep myself busy to keep from acting on impulses but it's getting harder to do. so i figure if i can just occupy myself until dd's appointment i should be ok. thanks again for the input.


hugs,


traci

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 3:54pm

I know i get that feeling, although it is usually accompanied by a dysphoric mania or mixed state.


I would mention it to the doc.

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