restless
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 04-20-2006 - 1:35pm |
Well it's a new day and a beautiful one here in PA. I have washed all the bedding and hung it up on the line, washed my dogs and various other things. But I have been so busy keeping busy that I have now run out of things to do. I am feeling very restless, like if i dont do someting soon I know it will all come rushing back and those horrible down feelings will come in like hurricane katrina. And It is actually scaring me. DH comes home tomorrow night and I can't wait, he is my rock. And for those few days he is home I feel stable. Then when he leaves again for work it;s like WHAM. I hit a wall. But I will have to face that on sunday. It almost feels like I have a balloon inflating in my chest that is just waiting to burst, in anticipation of the downward spiral that is just waiting to suck me in. I have worked so hard to keep it at bay. But I am getting tired mentally and physically. Thank god I have an ipod....LMAO The constant music helps, it will stop my mind from the non stop what if's and should of's. Although I am not sure what my dad thinks of my singing...lol
Jo

a little manic are we?
God could not be everywhere, so
Great ideas, but did the winter to summer clothes last week.....lol just made a marinade for the chicken tonight. I cleaned out my old purses to give to my friend. It seems like manic but it feel different. I dont really have the energy but I am forcing myself to so things so I dont think about everything. I would just like to lay on the sofa and listen to the birds but i know if i do that the depressing feelings will rush in and I am trying to avoid that. Do I make any sence? I feel like I am not for some reason.
Jo
God could not be everywhere, so
I know it's hard but you have to practice and constantly remind yourself not to wait for the other shoe to drop. Enjoy what you have while you have it. All that energy could definately be a useful thing. If you are out of things to do that you "have" to do, start doing things that you 'want" to do. Paint, draw, write, knit, whatever it is that you do. And have fun!
Again, instead of worrying about the next time dh goes away enjoy the time you have with him, otherwise you will have wasted it being anxious.
Hang in there.