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| Fri, 04-21-2006 - 1:37pm |
i called pdoc and saw tdoc yesterday. i've started back on the klonopin to help quiet the self-destructive thoughts. tdoc wants me to call her if i get any worse. i had to show her my arms to prove i hadn't acted on my thoughts. she wants me to give her my knives, but i want to hold on to them to prove that i can get through this on my own. i don't know if that's smart or wreckless, but that's what is running through my mind.
tdoc thinks it's a combination of a lot of things going on right now. the fact that things are generally going well and i'm not used to that - i'm waiting for the other shoe to drop; the quitting smoking; the impending legal action with my ex among other things. she was glad i called pdoc though. i just hope the klonopin works quickly because i don't want to get bad again. tdoc wants me to start coming in again but understands the stress it would add to me by not being able to pay her. so she will just continue to check in with me when i bring my dd in to see her. stupid insurance!
keli - if you read this, i'm glad your t appt went well last night. you got some good sage advice. and remember we're here for you too.
that's where i'm at right now. thanks for listening.
hugs,
traci



((((((((((((Traci)))))))))))))))
hang in there girl....it will get better !!
God could not be everywhere, so