How H vacation at home went

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
How H vacation at home went
1
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 11:20am

As I had expected H came home with liquor on Friday night. Seeing how all other vacations at home have gone I thought for sure he'd be drunk all week long. Sat morning he seemed pretty okay, said he was not going to drink that evening but needed to drink in the AM due to hangover. (Same 'ol story)

Sat afternoon said he was going to the liquor store. At first I became angry, then walked away to recompose. Came to him and reminded him how DS4's playschoold teacher stated how much better he's been doing. H then said he's been feeling better the past few weeks but he must just be denying his pain & was very well aware of it now. I pointed out he had not drank the past few weeks, now it is the alcohol combating with his meds & winning. I reminded him how he wanted to control his illness & not his illness control him & not drinking, but instead taking his meds, would be controlling his illness. I then explained to him about the 'voice' over the weekend of March 17th (which he does not remember). But he did state that nothing happened & he would never do what the voice was telling him to. I then reminded him of his affair & how that is not something he 'would' do, but by drinking allowed the illness to take control and did do the unexpected. Etc, etc.

He took his meds & went to bed & stayed sober the rest of the week.

Now, up until he started to take the Adavant he has done nothing, not even change a light bulb. This week he changed the oil in both cars, refinanced the house, bought new tires for both cars, took down the Christmas lights, mowed, took DS out for a daddy-son day out, changed light bulbs, went to Costco, went clothing shopping for himself, bought a new camera (ours is native) & I'm sure there was more.

The best part of all of this is - it was not rushed. It was done in a relaxed way, not a manic way. More like a person taking time off of work to catch up on life. These were his goals before hand - not impulses.

He was very depressed yesterday, but remained sober. Couldn't figure out why he was depressed and that frustrated him.

I think he is doing very well. He waited until the kids went to bed on Friday to start drinking. I did tell him I would like him to go to the beach for his vacation if he was going to drink. This angered him. But on Sat when he said he was going to drink again, I told him not in the house, go to the beach. He felt this was me telling him to get out of our lives, was not what I meant, but seemed strong enough for him to fight for sobriety.

Still one day at a time, but I get to see my H every day now - not that strange person in the midst of acute mixed-mania.

Bonnie




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 11:36am

that's awesome...and you are right, one day at a time...you guys will get there


thanks for the update

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