MwM (missing while manic) TRIGs
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MwM (missing while manic) TRIGs
| Fri, 05-05-2006 - 8:30pm |
Checking letting you all know --if you care that i am fine sort of. In a major manic can't focus on anything. I am obsessed with Neopets.com and DBF is driving me nuts. Going on week 2 like this little or No sleep, food and water. Going to crawl out of my skin if i don't get some sleep soon.
That us all i just wanted yoiu to know i was ok sort of.
going to try and read.
Christine

Hi Christine
I apologize for not knowing your situation, but am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Do you have a pdoc? If so, it sounds like you need to call him/her. If you are on meds they obviously aren't helping with the mania. You need sleep. The longer you go without it, the worse the mania will get. But vent here as often as you need to. We're here for you.
Hugs,
Traci
Traci-
Thanks for you post. this is going to be long. I must warn you that my next sentence my make your stomach hurt.
I do not take Rx'ed Med or see a P'doc, & t'doc. Not since i was a teen. BY choice, I spent many years in and out of treatment and @ 18 ish i was done (not like cured but done with the process sort of, maybe a little feed up, maybe a little tired of going in and out and losing days and weeks.) I had come off most rx'ed meds the year earlier and had spent some time learn alternate methods to cope/deal/treat BPI which is what i was dx'ed.
Anyway it has worked for me with varying degree of success. But a few month back my DBF SIL started a email fight and she called me imbalanced and Psychological damaged. I was really hurt by this i laughed at her, well not her actually her email. This comment however sent me in a rage, we were in the process of moving and packing and what not DBF wasn't really doing or saying much re: the hateful things his SIL wrote so i started internet searching and found the communities here at ivillage joined a few of the boards and on one of those relationship boards i mention that once upon i time i was dx'ed BPI but that not i thought i was rapid cycling and maybe it was affect my relation ship and WHAM i end up here talk you all.
I had a month maybe with only a few hypo-mania days and i didn't really feel very down until ex-landlord started be Jerks and treating us like we were worthless. UGH can't talk about that justa hUGE trigg. I can manage hypo episode pretty much blindfolded. usually i have at least 1 major manic or depressed swing a month but lately i have had so many hypo-manic epis i think my BF is about to through his hands up.he can't walk down the hall with out bugging the crap out of me, much less sit on the sofa near me. it is unbearable sometime how irritating he can be, and honestly if i look at from outside of my perspective he really isn't a bad guy that runs around the house driving me nuts. Around easter he went awayt to visit his family-- i was way low. sad and depressed then WHAM mania like i haven't had in years. DBF was gone and i was doing his taxes (he is a major procrastinator and pot head (neither of which i approve of when it gets in the way of getting things done-- LIKE HIS STINKIN" taxes WHICH I DID! for him while he went a way to "visit" his family UGH!) His taxes i think that might have been what set this most recent manic off. that and traveling for work. I swear it is because of AF but i could be wrong lately i have noticed that when AF is around either i get wicked cramps or mania no normal for me. DBF is just not around much. as the season change he gets more work and is gone a lot which make me really grumpy and intolerant of any of his habits or behaviors. OK i need to go to the bank so i'll wrap this up.
I don't self medicate either not drug or alcohol of any kind-- ok we i drink coffee and smoke so if you want to get picky i sort of do.
I did get some sleep last night and i did do some things around the house that is better than it has been for the last bit here.
Christine -
I understand your frustration with treatment. Lord knows most of us have been down that road at least once. I've never gone in-patient, but there have been a few times where I've really needed it. I chose not to because of fear, frustration and even stigma. So I do understand when you say you were done with the treatment.
Alternative methods are great as long as they continue to work. From what you are describing though, it sounds like they aren't working anymore or, simply (like with meds) need to be adjusted. AF can be a big factor in moods, I've even noticed that with my own symptoms. But, I still have a pdoc and a tdoc so I usually have meds thrown at the symptoms. Like right now, my rage is bad again so pdoc just prescribed ativan for me. I don't like taking all these meds, but I just don't know any other way to survive with this illness.
As for coffee and cigs, I use both too. Although I'm trying to quit smoking. My tdoc tells me now might not be the right time being I'm getting ready to do battle in court with the ex. So, we'll see what shakes out.
All in all, you know what kind of "treatment" is right for you, whether it's the alternative type or the medical approach. We are here to support you either way. So hang in there and vent as often as you need to.
Hugs,
Traci
thanks again.
it does help to have a support network.
ok goign to try and get some cleaning done in my house.
Christine