completely out of control & humiliating

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
completely out of control & humiliating
3
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 11:50am
rage last night.
it was a lousy opening night as one lead(/director) didn't know her lines & the techies didn't know their cues.at one point the lights cames up as i was out of my hospital bed w/ my newborn "baby" facedown on the floor.i actually laughed my butt off about it UNTILL the show was over & put my pants down & forgot where i put them.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh baby.suddenly i was CONVINCED someone took my pants & it not only led me to accuse everyone in the tiny room about it,it set me off on a litany of colorful profanities & pretty nasty things to say about everyone i felt was responsible for my humilation while onstage.the producer was there & other "bigshots"& i couldn't stop for all the money in the world.it's like skidding & crashing.
is this what you all do?or am i a freak?..............................s
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 12:14pm

SUZI Q--

You are not a freak--I will share some of my humiliating moments with you. I haven't been having the best last few weeks my self and i could use a laugh right about now maybe these will help.

Remember that job i used have (i think i told you about it) the one where the boss was my friend and the my responsibilities we many... any way i would have days there where i would ( i kid you not) yell, scream demand, argue, cuss fight and belittle almost anyone that crossed my path, the slightest sign of insurrection (i was a manager) by the subordinates and LOOK out i was ready to fire them all. then i would go into my Bosses office and she would be like "Cris what the heck go take a walk" "I am your friend and i can handle you like this most of the time but you can't talk to those guys that way they just think your nuts, they don't get that you are really good at what you do when you aren't acting crazy screaming at people." or my GM would say " Cris you have to be the nicest girl her, you can't be mean to them." and the only time i really yelled at when was that moment i told him in so many words that last i check i had graduated from HS and there was NO way in hell he was going to make me "play well with others" because as far as i was concerned the "other in this situation were a bunch of gossipy rumor mongers that liked to push my buttons by not doing their work and pointing out my mistakes. And since i was no long in HS and i din't care anymore what folks thought about me, BEing the NICEST girl in the office would be hard because i wasn't about to lie to folks when it comes to how they are doing on their work. and a swear the minute it came out of my mouth i wanted to take it back. BEcause i saw it in his eyes (I had a brief office flirtation with him but he was my friend too) I had never spoken to either of them like that before. I am pretty good with authority Eps. these too these guys were my on MY SIDE. I was so sure that he was going to fire me on the spot. then he said this "IF you CAN'T be the nicest girl in this office then you aren't going to be working here for much longer." and i thought i would just vomit. I left that office so upset and angry. that 2 days later when i laid into another co- worker i called them both up and said I knew it meant i would lose my job and i swear on my LIFe both of them said independent of each other " we were never going to fire you, you just need to be nicer." Humiliating and completely out of control.

it happen to the best of us.

chin up,
Christine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 12:06am
AGAIN!
1 at home one later..my shrink called & asked if i could be there at 8 am....i had to leave her a message saying..not a chance..must reschedule
i can't stand me
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 8:07pm
(HUGS) Oh dear...yes, that sounds very much like something I'd do. :-( I don't have any advice for you, I'm not certain if I am bp or not; and I'm still trying to learn about it.