Frustrated with DH - Advice?
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| Wed, 02-23-2011 - 11:24pm |
To start, (though some here may disagree) I think I have the best baby every born and a pretty wonderful DH.
So, each week, I have a special day that is just me and Logan and DH has a day that is just him and Logan. The problem is that when I get home from work on his days, all I hear is griping about how difficult Logan has been. He doesn't want to play with me. He won't nap. He just spent all day fussing. He won't leave the (very little, delicate) dog alone. I will give him that since that dog goes to work with DH I am almost never alone with DS and the dog. However, I don't get the rest. My DCP and her family, and everyone else who has ever babysat him has commented on what a fun and easy baby he is! I know sometimes people sugarcoat things for the mom but still. I don't have difficulty with him 90% of the time. Sure he has some fussy times like any baby but they tend to be minimal. Now, he is our first child (and DH has never spent much time around any children of any ages) so we have little to compare but from all that I have heard he is truly easy.
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Hi Kristi,
Thanks. I have tried the play with him while I am around. If I enforce the play times he does great with him. Unfortunately DH works 12 hour days so day when he works he leaves before or at the time DS gets up and gets home right at bedtime so it can't be a daily thing. Also, it only seems to work if I enforce playtime and then he actus like I am putting him out pulling him away from the tv. When he sites down and plays with him he is really great with him. DS has a great time and DH seems to also. I don't get why it is such a battle to get it started. Also, like I said, I have only guesses about what happens when I am not here as everything I hear is from DH's point of view which just tells me that DS has been "fussy".
DH nad I have such limited time together and he takes those discussions so badly that if I sit down with him at other times I feel like I am just wasting our only rtimes together since it doesn't seem to help anyway.
Tonight (it was DH's day off) they had some good play time which I enforced. I don't get why that can't be when I am not here. Or does it happen and I just hear the bad and frustrating. I am getting to the point that I am exploding at the slightest provocation . It is not good and does not seem fair to anyone. Sigh.
The third and fourth thing you need to do is make time for yourselves individually and as a couple. That will help with your depression and stress level.
After all of that, remember that the only one you can change really is yourself. So if none of the above works, learn to shut out his complaining, only screening his complaints for important details.
(((HUGS))) Hang in there! And go talk to your dr, even if you don't want to talk to them!!!
Tessa
Single Mom of 6 beautiful children and 3 angels........
CL to Single Moms, January 2010 Winter Wonders, and 2010 Playgroup Friends
Tessa
Single Mom of 6 beautiful children and 3 angels........
CL to Single Moms, January 2010 Winter Wonders, and 2010 Playgroup Friends
Hi Kristy, I really don't have much advise to offer and I'm so, sorry that you are having these issues with DH. I do have to say that you described my problems with DH to the T, with the exception of working as I don't hold down a paying job. It's really hard not to explode and I try my hardest not to, however, sometimes I just blow up at him, and
Thanks again!
I agree whole heartedly! :)
Tessa
Single Mom of 6 beautiful children and 3 angels........
CL to Single Moms, January 2010 Winter Wonders, and 2010 Playgroup Friends
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