BAD day, poss trigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
BAD day, poss trigs
3
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 1:55pm

Thankfully, I am doing ok. For those that know, my "loser" brother lives with my parents and right after Xmas, his 17 year old daughter moved in with them. She has been struggling for years and no one ever has invested any time in helping her. I have been telling my mother and sister that I thought she could be bp - she sounds SO much like I was at that age. Then, as other details have come out and I have spent time around her this year, I changed my mind and kept it to myself, but I am convinced she is BPD.

A month or so ago, mom called to ask my advice because she found out my niece was suicidal. It was a case of my niece saying something and mom flashed back to me and kept asking questions until she admitted it. I told them to take her to an ER. No one bothered because it wasn't convenient and my niece didn't want to go.

Last night, I had to go to my moms. When I got there, my mom asked me (almost in tears) if I would go with them to the ER...she was in pretty bad shape. Of course I went with. Once we got there, my niece got UGLY rude to everyone (she was terrified). We sent her in alone to talk to the dr because she straight out said she didn't want any of us around her...we all hate her you know. (her thought)

While we were waiting, my mom casually tells me that my niece had mentioned to her seeing in a movie where a girl was depressed and cut herself to feel better. She quickly assured my mom that she tried it once but it hurt so she stopped. I was stunned that my mother was so gullible to believe her. Finally, HOURS later, they let us know that they were admitting her - they just had to find a bed at an adolescent unit. They did eventually find one, 90 some miles away.

When the van showed up to transport her, she freaked. She went off and insisted that she was NOT going. Thankfully, the attendant told her "that's nice, it's also just too bad you don't want to go. Now get in the van or we will PUT you in the van." She got in the van.

The dr at the hospital she is in talked with my brother a bit this morning. They did a physical when she got there (part of her evaluation) and she has been cutting on her arms like crazy. Couple times on her legs also, but mainly her arms. My mom was surprised. I am amazed that they lived through me growing up (I NEVER have cut, but was pretty messed up at 17) and are still so ignorant about MIs and things to be aware of. She is allowed visitors, but we are all going to back off and give them a few days before we visit.

I AM really glad she is getting help finally. She has needed it for SO long - and I have been telling people that. It really flashed me back to when I was her age and put myself inpatient without my family knowing because I was going to die otherwise. Hopefully, the hospital is good. It isn't a county hospital and it is out in a rural area so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I am just praying like crazy that they pinpoint what is going on with her (still convinced, based on her behavior, that it is BPD). I've given my mother a heads up on it.

Sorry this is so long - my mind is crowded.

**KELI** Hope you are still doing as well as last time we talked - tried calling but got your voicemail - will try again later.

Hope everyone else is doing well also!!

Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 2:07pm

((((((((((((((Tracey))))))))))))


I'm so sorry for your neice, but so grateful that people are finally taking actions to help her.

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 2:30pm

Hey, your title scared the CRAP out of me...

Okay...your niece is sooooooo borderline...and I hope like heck they give her the correct dx...its a hard one to get...pdocs don't like it...but its what it is...she'll probably end up with BP...I did, then with BPD...maybe she is both...what is important is that she get on meds and in therapy. Borderline treatment is a LOT like BP treatment, the meds I mean...the therapy is VERY different, and is really hard to go through. Read up on Dialectical Behavioral Therapy by Linehan...its the treatment she'll need.

The cutting...you know I've done that. The ONLY thing that got me to stop was i/p, meds, and some stabilization...(ha.). I STILL have those urges EVERY day. Its the inner pain, and the release you feel when you cut...or any other self injury...

Call me in a bit...going to smoke...

Doing a little better...saw Chris...

Hang in there...you can't get triggered.

Love you..

k.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 5:34pm

((((((((((((Tracey)))))))))))) I'm so sorry to hear about your niece. But, am glad that she is finally going to get the help she needs. I know how you feel when you see the behavior that reminds you of you at that age. My dd serves as a reminder to me when her meds aren't working.


But know that you have done everything you can. You warned them and gave them the support when they asked for it. And you know that we are here for you if you need it. You are a very strong individual. I've known that about you since we met here on the board, but even the strong ones need a shoulder to lean on every now and then.


I'll keep your niece in my thoughts, as well as you my friend. Keep us posted.


Hugs,
Traci