OK, I officially hate myself...
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| Sun, 05-14-2006 - 12:54pm |
This is going to be my last post- don't worry. Being that it's Mother's Day, I have been thinking about my job as a parent...and I stink royally. My kids don't deserve a mother like me and I do not deserve to be a parent. It is supposed to be a great day and I'm yelling at the kids...again...will I ever get my temper under control? I can do it sometimes but other times I just snap..I have no control...and I feel horrible afterwards. I'm supposed to be the adult, not the child. I act worse than they do. I hate the way I act; I hate the way I think I just hate it all right now. To make it worse, ds (who may also be bp) is tormenting dd and making her scream all day so far. DD at church turns to me and says "I don't like that Gram died"..so, in the front row of church where everyone can see me, I start crying, again (first MD without MIL). Later in mass she says it again, I cry again...ugh..this day has not been the happy event I wanted it to be.
I am trying my best to do "cognitive reframing" and get myself out of this mindset. It works for a little, I can laugh, I can see the other side of the coin, but I just can't stay in that good place.
Sorry to be such a downer on Mother's Day.
Peg, who promises not to post anymore.
Thanks for all of the supportive words you have given.

((((((((((((Peg))))))))))) you are NOT a horrible mother!!!! And please do not stop posting! It's when we feel like this that we need to post. You need to vent your feelings in a safe place and in a place where you are understood. This is that place.
I know this is a hard mothers day for you. But please try to hang in there and keep posting.
Hugs,
Traci
PLease PLease Please don't stop posting. I have found even in my worst of times the ladies here have helped me thru so much. And as for losing your mother, I do understand. I lost mine 14 yrs ago when I was 18. I to am having a hard time today but I do rememeber all the beautiful things about her and that makes me smile. Just take one day at a time and at the end of the thank god that you made it thru and have faith that the next day will be better. My heart goes out to you.
HUGGS,
jo
you are not a bad parent !!!
God could not be everywhere, so
Donna,
No, I do not have a pdoc. I'm waiting for a list from my tdoc- I don't know of anyone so I asked her who she suggests.
I tried Paxil- horrible side effects so I stopped. I am now on bupropion (wellbutrin) but only 75mg/day. I'm waiting for the next rx to come in to increase to 75mg/2x/day (150 total).
Thanks for your (and everyone else's) reply.
Peg
I think it might be a good idea to call tdoc then and really be honest with her and tell her what is going on...mabye she can hurry up that list for you.
God could not be everywhere, so