He really went!

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Registered: 04-08-2003
He really went!
2
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 12:48pm

I was trying not to get too excited as I know H will often not do something at the last minute. He didn't want to go to the Dual Diagnosis meeting. He was scared, etc. But he went! There were only 3 other people there. The meeting was supposed to be 1 hour long and it's a 5 minutes drive. So at 7:15 he was not still home I realized my H actually spoke and was actually talking to at least one person after the meeting. As the clock ticked by I couldn't help but get more excited. I tried to remind myself it was possible it was someone else talking & he didn't know how to get up and leave in the middle of it, but deep down I felt it was he talking.

He came home about 7:45. The others didn't even really talk, it was all my H. They asked him if he was going to return next week and he said yes, his W has worked too hard for him not to. (Again, we'll see.)

Also, his verbage has changed. He used to make referrences to alcohol as something he will always do, maybe not now, but later. Now he's making it sound like it is part of his past, not his present NOR his future.

**Tracy**

Yes, I'm well aware of Alanon. I went when I was about 16 for a while and again 9 yrs ago when I hospitalized my H & he followed through with AA (which I would go to open meetings with him). I don't really like Alanon. I try & try hard but I feel like yelling at these people, asking why they could take such abuse. I don't relate with them. Yes, I take abuse also, but not the same type of abuse. My abuse is more or less neglect, the same type of neglect I believe any marriage would have, just exaggerated. Plus, it only comes in swings (depending on where H's cycle is). Most of the time we're very good friends with a huge amount of respect for each other. In the same respect my H hates AA. So I'm really surprised he's going through with this.

Yes, I took abuse in this last episode, but it was psychosis & in the 14.5 yrs together I've never experienced anything like this. That is why I knew something was absolutely mentally wrong and continued to research until I figured it out. I believed H to be bipolar all along, I just never knew there was hypomania & mania. I had never even heard of hypomania until I started to research bipolar this past fall. How I wish I still thought hypomania was mania.

I think AA/Alanon is a major benefit to so many people, it just doesn't seem to jive with H & I. .... BUT .... I feel it is a different story when it's through NAMI. With my support groups through NAMI I feel like others are not sympathizing or empathizying ... the truly understand in depths nobody else ever would. Plus, for me, these are family members who will not give up on their loved ones, so their determination & love is 10-fold. I believe those 'consumers' who attend NAMI groups have the backing of their family members & know the same type of love I feel when I go to a group.

NAMI does have a DD-Alanon, but, it's also on Friday night (same time). Which would be great if I didn't have very young children. We really don't have the money for a babysitter or know where to find one anyway. Our neighbors do babysit often, but they will not accept money & I do not feel comfortable asking them to give up Friday nights to watch my kids.

I am attending 2 different support groups at NAMI, which, seeing 80% of mental ill sufferers have chemical abuse problems I do think those there understand and help work through it.

Bonnie
(Keeping my finger's crossed for next Friday.)




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
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Registered: 04-06-2005
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 1:38pm
that is so awesome he went !!!
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Registered: 05-02-2006
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 6:33pm

I understand about the alanon not jiving with you and that's cool. Just thought I'd throw it out there if you didn't know about it.


I am glad that your h followed through with the dd meeting. That's great news. I'll