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new-how to help-sorry long
| Wed, 05-17-2006 - 10:24am |
Hi, I've read a couple of posts and hope you can help me or guide me in the right direction. My mother in law is bipolar,she has been treated for and diagnosed,and we believe she is not taking her medication. I have been trying to do some research so please correct me if I haven't understood things properly. She seems to be in a manic episode, she is more irrational than usual,she complained to me that her mind is racing and she can't remember things, she has made some very poor financial decisions which she asked my husband(her son) to help her with and now is telling him she doesn't want him to do anything. She allowed someone to move in with her because she said she needed the money,she doesn't, and her renter never paid her any money and convinced her to list him in her will and leave him everything which she did and she is now changing back to her son and daugther. She refuses to speak with her daughter now because she says she is out to get her(I'm not sure what my sister in law said or did to give her that impression if anything since the three of them just went out to dinner together last week)She is on the verge of disowning my husband,again,since he is trying to help her straigthen things out and is trying tough love by correcting her when she trys to put words into his mouth and misconstruing what he says and changes her mind every time he starts to make progess and we are worried that she will let someone else get close to her and convince her to sign over her house or something. How can we best help her to see a doctor or take her meds? She was hospitalized once against her will(20 years ago) and has never forgiven her ex-husband for that even though from the little I heard he didn't know what else to do to help her. And she lives 4 hours away from us and my husband is currently down living with her. She also doesn't seem to understand he is sacrificing his own business to be there which I am beginning to feel resentful for which I know I shouldn't..
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any advice, suggestions or comments that will help us to deal with this.
Concerned Daughter in law
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any advice, suggestions or comments that will help us to deal with this.
Concerned Daughter in law

Hi Concerned and welcome to the board. While I'm not a doctor, it does sound as though your MIL is in the throws of a manic episode. The issue with her thinking her daughter is out to get her could be completely unfounded. Paranoia is not uncommon in manic episodes.
As for how to help her, that's a tough one. Does she have a therapist (tdoc) and/or psychiatrist (pdoc)? If so, when was the last time she saw either one? Is it possible for your dh to call the pdoc or tdoc? Maybe they can take action. If she is really out of control they can get her placed on a 72 hour hold in a psych hospital. That way she can get the meds in her. Bottom line is she needs to get back on her meds. Unfortunately I don't have any other suggestions as to how to get her to do that. I'm sure others will have some suggestions.
I'm sorry that you have to go through this. It's hard to go through whether you are the bipolar or a family member. Hang in there and keep us posted.
Hugs,
Traci
Hi and Welcome !!
Like Traci said...she needs back on her meds and very soon.
God could not be everywhere, so
Traci
Thank you for your reply. Unfortunately we don't know her doctor and she keeps her room locked so I couldn't try to find a name on a pill bottle when I was there last weekend. I'm going again this weekend and was thinking of trying to talk with her to find out more. She thinks I'm the most level headed person she knows so I hope to use that to get some info out of her if I can, but I'm afraid it may also make me the bad guy. I'm sure so doesn't have a therapist since my dh says she doesn't believe in counseling. I'm afraid she'll hate him if he trys to committ her. What is a 72 hour hold and how do you do it or do you need a doctors order?
Again I so appreciate any insight and am learning so much every day.
Concerned
Hello and welcome...unfortunately, unless your MIL is a DANGER to herself or others you cannot force her into the hospital against her will...it just isn't going to happen. I agree that she needs to be medicated. But again, you can't force her to do anything. No, she probably isn't making the best decisions, or judgement calls right now. It probably IS affecting the entire family. We all know how that is, and its very upsetting. She needs a psychiatrist. If she has one, a call might be a good idea. If she doesn't have one, maybe the family should talk with her, and if she gets mad so be it. If she gets more and more out of control, get her to the ER, and they can decide whether or not she is a danger to herself and hold her for 72 hours.
She IS manic right now, and it WILL get worse without meds. Call 911 if it gets worse, and they will get her to the ER...she will see a psych nurse practitioner, and be evaluated and most likely held. It won't be pleasant, but it will be for the best.
Its not fun, and I know its hard. Hang in there. If we can help, let us know.
Keli
In all liklihood she's not taking her meds, although it can just be that she needs a change in meds, which can cause breakthrough mania although usually not quite so severe.
Thank you for the information and websites, I am heading to those next. I came to ivillage when I knew I need help because the infertility support groups helped get me through our struggle with a couple of years ago. I never would have made it without them and you all have been terrific also.
Stephanie