Either H is playing major head games
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| Mon, 05-22-2006 - 7:58am |
with me or I am going crazy. It is not a good feeling. My family is trying to convince me that it is him trying to control me but it is hard to believe. He is doing that good of a job. I am now stressed beyond belief and feeling very out of control and just plain weird.
On a good note, I have planned a trip to my parents house with the kids around the 19th of June until the 10th of July. I can't wait. I can not stand being here. I just HATE it.
H should be served this week and he still does not have an attorney. I hope I get last weeks check before he is served, LOL. He is supposed to drop off some money today. It won't be the full amount of child support but anything helps.
I am also having a hard time with the fact that he finds me so repulsive. It is hard to be 31 and facing life alone. I will be alone on holidays he has the kids and after the kids grow up. My sisters go to thier IL's on holidays and the rest of my family is out of state. If someone who at least used to love can find me so hard to live with, deal with and hate me so much, how can I ever believe that when if I ever want to find someone that anyone would be interested in me, let alone me plus 3 kids. Oh well, the thought of dealing with men right now kind of repulses me, LOL.
Sorry I am so scarces right now. I am still a mess. The anger still has not come. I am scared that I am losing my sanity now, in a way. I am grateful that I have all my kiddos back though. I missed them horribly this weekend. All in all, I am just trying to cope. I think of you all often and miss you all.
Love,
Missy


yes,i can assure you he is playing head games with you.it's what men do best.
i am very happy your family is supportive.& i promise you you won't be "alone" for long.
whatever it is that YOU THINK your h finds repulsive..it is HIS failing.not yours.