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Posted originally on wrong board
| Tue, 05-23-2006 - 8:49am |
Hi, I am new here. I was diagnosed with manic depression 22 years ago when I was 17. They put me on Lithium which was ok until I blew up 2 sizes. As a teenager, I couldn't handle that so went off of it and have been in denial ever since. I have been very, extremely controlled about my every emotion ever since then. About 6 years ago, I was "under a lot of stress" as I told my current reg Dr. so tried Serzone (it was calming) which I really liked but it blew my liver functions very high so that had to go. I was allergic to Wellbutrin and Buspar made me fall asleep standing up. I believe I am more manic than depressive but the cycles are getting harder and harder to control. I am tired of hiding everything and feeling so rigid, even when I'm the life of the party. I told my husband a little about it two years ago (married for 8) and I don't think he believes me - even when I go on a tear with him and make an ass of myself or spend money we don't have or anything else of that nature. I even mentioned it to my mother in a "remember when" segment and she didn't remember it! Is it because I am articulate and intelligent? Is this the perception? For the first time ever I am thinking therapy or something. I don't know and I can't get off the fence. I would be horrified if anyone close to me really knew the extent of what crazy thoughts go through my head - it's a struggle to keep it together half the time and fake it. Can anyone recommend websites, books, anything to help me manage myself? I would really appreciate it. Thank you! Kell

Hi and Welcome !!!!
Here's a couple to get you started.
God could not be everywhere, so
Kell,
Glad you found us!