Physically I feel a little better but...
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| Tue, 05-23-2006 - 9:45am |
...emotionally I feel ashamed and guilty. A little back ground here. I found out my dd 16 has to have her wisdom teeth surgically removed. We had the consultation last week at which point I found out how much it was going to cost me AFTER insurance. Well, I started stressing because I was going to have to come up with $1300 on the spot. DD suggested I contact her bio-dad since we both knew my ex wouldn't help until he's ordered by a judge to do so. So that night, dd called her bio-dad and told him about her wisdom teeth and asked if he could help out. Then he asked to talk to me. I got on the phone and he asked how much it would cost me. I told him $1300 and told him that I really didn't want to have to ask him but under the current circumstances I had no choice. He said it was no problem he was glad to help.
Last night dd received a card in the mail from him. Enclosed was a check for $1300 for the wisdom teeth surgery, $180 for her passport (she's doing a student exchange to Scotland next year), and $20 for her grades this past report card.
This is all good and I know it. So why do I feel so guilty and ashamed about it? Why can't I just embrace the gesture and be thankful? I really wish the wiring in my brain wasn't so messed up. Thanks for listening.
Hugs,
Traci

God could not be everywhere, so
Traci,
You're feeling guilty partly because it's an inherant part of that Mom gene to feel guilty about EVERYTHING, but more so beacuse you're just not used to getting help freely and easily offered, without guilt trips--so you have to feel guilty to compensate for the lack of the guilt trip!
Bless DD's birth dad for being willing to help so generously.