Do you ever...

Avatar for peg_t
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Do you ever...
2
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 7:52am

doubt your diagnosis? I wonder sometimes if I am just "creating" all of the symptoms. I'm sure that sounds dumb but I can usually change my negative thoughts around relatively quickly (or at least state positive things, although I don't usually belive them). I have been so up and down within the same day lately that I wonder if it's all in my head. I guess I am just in denial. I try to convince myself that psychology/psychiatry is only a field of opinion, what if my doc's opinion is wrong?

Anyway, I finally got my second batch of bupropion and started to take it on Monday. I am now up to a whopping 150 mg/day (75mg 2x/day). Everything I have read states 300mg is theraputic dose. I hate increasing meds, as I go through the symptoms of the side effects again.

I got my tdoc to agree to see me weekly again- her only concern is the finances (I only have 10 insurance visits left). I will find a way to pay for it. I should have a list of pdocs on Tues. when I go see her again. I don't really want to go to one, but playing medication roulet with my pcp may not be the best idea (especially with my lupus).

Oh, well. I'm just really confused right now. Having a lot of trouble with ds (was told yesterday that he definitely needs meds for ad/hd symptoms of autism- waiting to hear back from dev. ped. I almost lost it at work while thinking about it.

I feel like I'm whining over nothing. Some of you are going through much worse times than I am. I should be thankful. I don't really feel like I fit in anywhere. I read the lupus board and they are all pretty sick (fortunately I am not and have not been), so I don't usually post there. I just don't know...I have to get to work.

Peg

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
In reply to: peg_t
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 7:56am

Hi there! I agree completely with your first paragraph. Everyday I feel that way so I walk around feeling deeply conflicted and I don't know what to do about it either! I am glad I am not alone.

Kelli





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Avatar for missyflanders
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: peg_t
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 8:24am

Raising my hand highly!!!! I constantly doubt my dx. I think I can't have bp, I have never had the mania people describe, they have to be wrong. I have had 3 different professionals dx me, but whatever they are all wrong. I have shown improvement on the meds, but it is just a fluke. Usually just telling myself those things convince me that they are right but sometimes I still wonder.

Just wanted you to know you are not alone.

Missy