DH not so much "D" before H....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
DH not so much "D" before H....
6
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 12:17pm
I was reminding "d"h last night that I have my "second glance" appt with first tdoc on Wed. and meeting another todc on Thurs this week. I hope I like 2nd tdoc better because her dh is a pdoc and wouldn't that be convenient. He said he couldn't understand why I am persisting in "this" and it's all in my head. Even I had to snicker at that statement. I actually thought he was joking but he was dead serious when he said there is absolutely nothing wrong with me - he must have gone to tdoc/pdoc school when I was sleeping. As if I am just being overly dramatic or something! This is the same guy who does our bills and has freaked out many times over my careless spending, as he puts it. Who agreed with my now XBF (as of nearly 2 weeks and who has not spoken to me since) that I am "just too much". WTF? Apparently I need to be a good little girl, just agree with everyone, keep my mouth shut, and suck it up. I told him that tdoc warned of this because he has never known me otherwise. I think he's actually scared that I'll change and not love him anymore or become "normal" and leave him. I don't know. I don't know if I am more angry or confused. I know he hates change, fears it really, so maybe that's it? Things cannot go on like they are though because I am on the edge - something has got to give. I feel like the sucking it up days are numbered because I can't suck anymore! I am so frustrated, I could scream!! I will - AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry to vent, Kelli





<
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 1:40pm

I think once you settle on your tdoc/pdoc, he needs to go with you and have them explain

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 4:33pm
I'm sorry Kelli! It's so annoying when people just don't understand what's going on. It's like, unless I've got a gun pointed to my head no one is going to take me seriously when I say I'm really in pain and sick! I don't know if that's what you were saying or not, but I do find it really frusturating trying to describe how I'm feeling when the only way to understand is to experience it!! It's terrible that your dh isn't behind you, that really has to hurt. Just last night a close friend of mine asked what type of person I was "pretending" to be tonight. It hurt so bad I never want to talk to him again!! Hang in there and keep venting, you know we all understand!
Meg
Avatar for peg_t
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 9:49pm

Kelli,

I think you are secretly married to my dh and you are seeing my tdoc! My tdoc just said to me last week that dh doesn't know me any other way so he thinks my moods are "normal". Dh doesn't think I have any problems. Then after I talk to him I wonder if I agree with him at times and I am just confused...there is nothing wrong...this is normal.

I have been a good little girl, not saying anything and sucking it up all my life. I am finally realizing that I can't do it any more. I am learning to speak up but I lack the confidence to do it. I guess it's kind of like borderline personality- if I say the wrong thing they will leave so I have to say the right thing. Actually, it's very low self-esteem. I don't feel like I'm worth enough for anyone to stick around so I just expect them to go anyway; yet I do my best to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, woman...yet I fail every day.

Ok, that got off on a weird tangent...sorry...

I hope that your tdoc appts go well and that you find one who you really like and can trust. You deserve the best!! Let me know how it goes.

Peg

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 10:01pm

Kelli,


Sounds like DH may have the "river disease"-denial!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 12:40pm
LOVE the first sentence!! Cracked me up!! My dh confuses me too - he knows me best I think but then do I know me better? Once I find the tdoc to settle down with, I am going to take the advice to take him so he can get the skinny on whatever's wrong upstairs. What is borderline personality?
I'll keep you posted! Kelli





<
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 4:36pm
That is an excellent idea! I will take him as soon as I settle on one for good. Thanks for the wonderful suggestion! Kelli





<