This really is about me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
This really is about me...
10
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 10:16am

I woke up this morning focused on ME and being the woman of integrity and dignity I once was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 10:45am
I think it is I have hours of YES THIS IS RL and I feel great only to change to man I feel bad he's gone I want him back, I dont feel like I want the stress, anxiety and all that but I'm having a hard time with nc forever it. Your posts are encouraging your doing the work but it takes time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 10:49am

Oh, Sunrise. These little revelations that are coming to you are huge signs of growth. This is the work that is required. Asking yourself questions: Who am I? What do I want to be? What was the A all about? How did I become that woman? Does he think of me? (ooops!! How did that slip in there???)

Yes, waffling and some self-doubt are normal at this stage. How could you not have doubt when you have let yourself become someone you didn't even recognize? You'll doubt A LOT of things as you ask questions and seek answers. What seems real to you even now may not be what's real to you as you move further along. Without question, this is a journey of self-discovery.

Yes, this really is about you and it always has been. I am very proud of your progress and can feel

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 12:22pm

He replied in a loving and kind way, “What we think really doesn’t matter.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 12:29pm

Sunrise,

You really have a treasure of an H there.

I think it's absolutely normal to go back and forth - you are still so early in your ending.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 12:34pm

Sunshine,

<< Is this normal?

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 12:39pm

Oppss sorry I put the wrong post here. Here is the correct reply. Sorry for any confusion.

Yes it is all about you and it is all about your perception of the A, of xAP and most importantly your perception of yourselves. Seeing the reality of any situation is sobering and allows us to make choices based on facts and reality rather than impulsive emotional whims.

<

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 2:29pm

E1, yes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 2:45pm

<>

How about asking your H what he thinks about you being friends with XAP?

<>

Right, nor you to him. Friends don't compromise one another's integrity while hiding behind closed doors to get what they want from one another. Friends don't have to lie to family members or sneak off into the bathroom when they want to call you. Friends don't allow you to disrespect yourself and/or your loved ones. Friends don't jeopardize the stability and secuirity of your family. Shall I go on?

Stink'n think'n? Yep, that's exactly what junkie minds do for planning their next fix.

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 3:39pm

Thank you Iddy, I get it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 5:51pm
I will second that.

You mentioned in an earlier post that your XAP was a higher earner than your H and you found that alluring. I can understand how some women associate that with power and find that attractive.

However, your H is so rich in substance and character, that your XAP would not measure up to his ankles on a good day. Sunrise your husband is amazing!

Sorry i could not hold myself back from saying that.

V888
xxxxx