Being triggered...
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| Wed, 06-28-2006 - 9:02am |
I am being so triggered right now. Tomorrow is my anniversary, 15 years. My dh and I are not together right now. I am alone. Really alone. Really lonely, and really hating myself and my life.
I tried to go home and sleep yesterday, its all I wanted to do. But, of course, I could't sleep. At all. Was still up at 2:30 this morning. So I ate...I binged like CRAZY!!! I never ever ever ever binge. My stomach still hurts...and is so bloated and gross now. I hate myself, I do.
Someone asked if it was possible (Jo, I think) to cycle fully in a day...YES! Its what I do all the time.
I increased my Lithium last night.
I am at work and I hate my job, hate the people here...hate everything about everything.
I miss my dog and am so tired of being alone.
My son is so grown up at almost 16. He takes care of himself, except for cooking. But he has his own life now...and I find myself SO JEALOUS!!!
I am having urges to do some really stupid stuff...
Very very sad...
Keli

Keli ~ I had no idea when we were talking last night things were so bad for you. I wish there was something I could do to return to return all the love and support you have given me. But until I figure out what that might be (unless you know) my love and support ~ as best as I can give them right now.
I hope you start feeling better soon.
Love U,
Traci
Keli,
I am sorry you are going through this. The seperation is so fresh and it is only normal for you to be very sad. You have been dealing with so much of your moods cycling and situational problems don't help. I love you and please know I am here for you.
Tina
~ Tina ~
i'm so sorry....you are not totally alone..you have us !!
God could not be everywhere, so