now i have something new to think about
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| Fri, 06-30-2006 - 5:37pm |
adding to my stress.
camp was a disaster this week.whatever could go wrong did.for example,i took the kids to a movie that my boss insisted was the best & it turned out that i couldn't have picked a more inappropriate movie if i had chosen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.we saw Click & it had curses & sex & all the trimmings & i thought i would die.
i have my kids,difficult kids & unlikable kids.
& i'm not very good.
throw in a slimy boss & a bossy counselor who the kids clearly like much better than me & i wish i could dissappear.
POSSIBLE TRIGGERS POSSIBLE TRIGGERS POSSIBLE TRIGGERS
before i could lead a camp,the counselors & myself had to take VERTUS training which is about sexual abuse & kids & what we are supposed to do when we hear or suspect any crime against children.
i have a camper i've known for a few summers.she comes across as a little old lady & is very benign.never a problem but wants to be one of the adults.she has an enourmous amout of siblings & always has to take care of this or that neice & nephew.when her brother got sick in sports camp they called her to take care of him.i personally thought it was odd.the girl is only 12.call the parents,right?
she told me her mother wouldn't come but her explanation was odd & convoluted & i didn't know what to beleive.
yesterday as we are going into the dreaded movie she suddenly unburdens herself on me & altho i cannot get specifics,what unwinds over the 2 days is a story about an abusive,maybe mentally unstable mother.a therapist that the child can't confide in because she'll either tell her mother or tell her to get over it(i begged her to tell her pdoc,asking what is the worst that can happen.she refused)& a priest who'll make her life miserable too.
she has already called me at home 2x & revealed that she can't understand how someone could sexually abuse her with so many people in the house.then she told me that this happened a long time ago.
it seems her plan tho is to come & stay here...with us.i told her she was always welcome but someone had to be called.
she said that she wanted us to call child protection services together.i told her i could take care of this.
she said no,but began to plan how to sneak all her belongings to my house & how we could do it & then make the call.
i finally had to tell her that it can't work that way.i had to make the call but i didn't have to involve her & her worst fear(that "they" would be really mad at her & her mother would beat her)would not happen.
she said she'd call me back.
unfortunately i know nothing except her name...no address or # or her mother's name.my boss has her info & i don't want to involve him.
i do not know what to do.it's kind of odd cuz when i took the training i scoffed at being told to call the athorities when we saw something suspicious,b/c a friend was falsly accused when something she dropped bounced up & hit her dd's eye & the doc reported it.
my kids are asking me what's wrong.

(TRIGGERS)
Suzi,
If the child doesn't get back to you in the next day or so, so you can get the info--you really have no choice (legally & morally) to either go to your boss and get the info (if you have to tell him why so be it) or you can call the authotities and let them know he has the contact info, but you were afraid he would refuse to give it.
Suzi,
I feel for you right now. Being a teacher, I know our obligations to reporting can be frightening and hard to deal with.
TRIGGERS:
First, you need to tell this little girl that you are proud of her for telling you her situation. She needs to know that she did the right thing by disclosing and she needs to know that she is very brave and strong for telling. She is SO lucky that she has found you and is comfortable with confiding in you- I only wish I could have done the same thing as a child.
Please, do everything and anything you can for this girl. There may be some "consequences" or blaming or whatever from the parents or your coworkers. But, from the mouth of an abuse victim, do it for the girl's sake, be the strong one. If she is able to get help now and get out of the situation, I guarantee you she will be forever greatful for helping her. She may not show it or may even get mad at you for "interfering" but one day she will realize that you did the right thing.
Don't wait- call today if you can to at least start the reporting. Let the authorities know that you will obtain the information on the child and call them back if you have to.
I'm sorry if some of this sounds "pushy". It's the scared little girl in me responding- crying out to help another scared little girl.
Are you going to see her again? Sorry, I didn't really know the ins and outs of this camp you are referring to.
Please keep us posted...
BIG hugs,
Peg
i posted last night but it didn't take.
i called & was on the phone for more than an hour.
i ultimatly was told nothing could be done b/c the girl didn't say she WAS beaten,just that she was afraid she might be.
all he could do was have a cop go to her house & question the child about the sexual abuse she mentioned.
the girl would deny it,the mother would get mad especially if she never knew about it & i will have made her worst fear come true.
so
i agreed to get more specific info.
if i didn't turn the child away completely in our last conversation.i had told her that she couldn't sneak all her stuff to my home & either she or i had to tell someone.
as for me...i told my own kids that the gil was going thru something like they were when i was sick.
i wrote my pdoc a long email telling him that after spending loads of energy hiding from the world that i was finally living a life & i wasn't sure i could handle it.
i also asked why i never felt an overdose of compassion or empathy UNTILL i got on the phone & reported.well...maybe a couple of hours before.
did that mean i was self involved or is it my meds?
finally,i asked for a trank to stop the coulda woulda shoulda tape going thru my head.
i will call again.