Is this normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Is this normal?
6
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 1:51am

Lately I feel ashamed because I have been thinking about my X, why, I don't know. I have been thinking about the good times and the things we liked together. Maybe it is from talking to him more and seeing him when I visit my dd. I think about him in "that" way too. How great we were there. I don't want him back, so why am i thinking of him like that? We have been seperated now for 10 years. We were together for 12 yrs. I have known him for 26 years. We started dating when we were 16.


I love B, I do, but i feel it is different then it was with X. I don't feel that deep down passion of love for B but I know I love him.

     ~ Tina ~

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 6:36am
sounds normal to me
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 12:46pm

Tina ~ Sweetie, you are far from being nuts. And this who wants to cause extreme pain to my ex. Yes, there are going to be time when you will become nostalgic but the key is to keep it in its proper place...the past. As you said, you have known this man for over 20 years. You can't just shut off the feelings and the memories. I don't know if I'm helping or not, but please know that you are anything but crazy. You are experiencing feelings that you are entitled to to feel. That's what makes you the wonderful person that we all know know and love.


Hugs & Love
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 4:28pm

Thanks Traci-


I feel guilty feeling those feelings when I am commited to Billy. There are so many changes and things I am working on in my life and a lot of it is my past so maybe that has something to do with bringing up my old feelings for my ex. I have to admit the loss still tugs at my heart. But he's a jerk and I am better off without him.


Tina


PS- thanks for saying I am not crazy:)




     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2006
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 5:40pm
Hey, I think we all think about a past love or two. After a while you kinda forget all the bad and remember all of the good. I just saw my X of 5 years with his lady friend of 4 years. They looked so much in love and happy. All I could think of was how good looking he is and why in the hell it didn't work out for us. Then he came over to say "Hi" and it all came back to me...he has always been a big jerk and he still is. I really feel sorry for his lady friend!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 8:37am

No problem Tina:) We all question our thoughts and motives but I think you're right. If you are working through your past in therapy, then that is why you are thinking of ex now. If he was a jerk tell yourself that and let that become your mantra "He is a jerk. I am so much better" until you drive him from your mind.


You hang in there sweetie:)


Hugs & Love,


Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 1:48pm
of corse its normal....things in your life are going in all kinds of directions...you are trying to find something you know, something 'normal', something you remember that gave you some stability.....I too used to do the same thing...not so much see myself back with him...but that was also when it seemed like i gave up so much and wasn't happy...and it was so not true.
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