AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 2:25pm

I've been very good at no phone contact with xh throughout this whole mess. I've got him programmed into my cell so I know when it's him calling and let the voice mail get it. Well.......today an unfamiliar number popped up on my incoming line and it was one similar to the area that is my tdoc's so I answered it. BIG mistake. It was xh.


Why am I wasting all of this money on a lawyer when we could settle this ourselves and the kids wouldn't suffer? etc., etc. Well, when he saw that was getting him nowhere he told me he'd agree to the increase and to the orthodontic work. He wanted me to call my lawyer and have her write it up for him to sign. I think I'm going to make an appointment with my lawyer and draw up an air-tight agreement for him to sign and that way this can stay out of the court systems. It sounds as though he is willing to deal. This makes me highly suspicious.


He still owes me money that he "agreed" to pay me over a year ago and I've only seen a third of that; money he agreed to pay me 7 months ago he "agreed" to pay me that I've not seen one thin dime. But none of these were signed documents. They were all written agreements done via e-mail. Maybe if these are signed documents they will make a difference?


And then, I find out he got a raise within the past year. It was a .25/hr but who knows when he got the last one? Is that why he wants to settle for the 750? So he doesn't have to pay more? My head feels like it's going to explode!


This man makes me absolutely certifiably insane! There is no doubt in my mind why I divorced him. Had I stayed with him someone would have been seriously hurt.


Any words of wisdom from anyone? I'd greatly appreciate it.


Hugs,
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 2:56pm

ok you asked for it girl !!!


first off, just b/c there is a written order does not mean he will pay it...sad but true.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:53pm

That's what's so scary about this. He agreed to the income deduction order; the co-pays for medical/dental and psyc visits. I don't understand what kind of game he's playing but he's agreed to everything I've asked for. If he doesn't sign out of court, then it goes into court. It's that simple. It may be as simple as the fact that he doesn't have the money to go into court. I don't know. I know his employer and how he pays....I used to work for the guy. So he may be making a little more than he was 6 years ago, but not much more. I don't know.


I just know my radar is up and am anxiously awaiting a call from my attorney. see what she says. I am so ready for this whole mess to be over with it's not even funny. It has had a big impact on my mood and I so much want to get back to "normal" whatever that is.


Hugs.
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 4:34pm
Go Donna! Go Donna! Great advice - my friend had to do same thing and it was worse because he was self-employed and fudged his returns!!
Traci, if your gut's telling you something is wrong, IT IS. That is the first thing they teach in self defense and I've found it covers across the board in life. Too good to be true? IT IS. I would think he's hiding something - usually money. But it's also nice to settle out of court. My xh couldn't stand to give me his dd's child support so he made the check out to my mother every month and mailed it to her. I only got over the stupidity of it all simply because it was the only way I could get child support. Do whatever you are most comfortable with but CYA too. Good luck babe!
Hugs, Kelli





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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 4:46pm

Yeah, this smacks more of him not wanting to go into a court room (i.e., probably a small increase somewhere along the line) and I do mean small, but he doesn't want that touched. However I got this strange letter from an undisclosed sender telling me to hire a private investigator to see where he's spending his money. Now, whoever this is, knows him, knows me and knows my kids. So that's thrown into the mix. I've been mulling that over in my mind too. I just want to do what's right for my kids and put this mess behind me. It's kept me off balance for so long I'm done. That's why I need to talk with my lawyer and run all this by her and get her input.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 7:02pm
Now that is tres interesting. Did you show that to your lawyer? All kinds of dark scenarios are running through my head. The good thing about shark lawyers is that they know shark investigators and can probably get a discount. Please keep me posted. That's straight out of movie!
Hugs, Kelli





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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 10:11pm

The one nerve he did hit (that I managed to not cave on) was him asking where all my father's inheritance had gone. I just went on to the next question and simply ignored his inquiry because frankly, it's not up to my parents, living or deceased, to support our children. That one just fries me. So once I speak with my attorney and she writes out the papers he should sign them with no problem. And, if he gives me any flack we go to court. I'm done being toyed with. He's yanked my chain for years, this time I yank back. maybe not going for the extra couple of dollars I might get but knowing what the kids will be getting makes up for it. I will keep you posted.


Hugs,
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:21pm

Traci,


If you are pretty sure about his current income then pushing the tax returns (for now) may not be the way to go, although your anonymous letter sure makes me wonder (like does he have a 2nd source of income/won the lottery

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 11:41pm

Thanks Marci


I am going for the income deduction order. He has agreed to that even though he doesn't like it but that's his problem not mine. I appreciate the continued support:)


Hugs,
Traci