Monthy Update

Avatar for firstglimpse
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Monthy Update
1
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 12:43pm

ME:
Still exhausted, emotionally & physically. I've been fighting off some sort of allergy since Nov, which has also caused a sinus infection in January. I think I've finally figured out what I'm allergic to, hormones. I will know better on Monday when my allergist goes over my blood test results.

This has left me exhausted physcially. But I do have a good 10 days a month where I'm symptom free & feel great (the week after my cycle starts). I've thought I was PMDD, but if it's actually an allergy it would explain all the symptoms I've been having every few weeks, including anxiety attacks.

My sister now thinks she is bipolar. She has been going through quite a bit of strange stuff. Including memory blocks, infedility, drinking, etc. She did try to take a bottle of sleeping pills recently which scared us all (this is where her memory block came in), then she thought it was because her H had tried to drug her for his own sexual gratification. Etc, etc, it has just been a strange time for her.

This has me stressed as my two best friends are my H & my sister. Now with their infedility & illness I'm feeling a bit locked out.

KIDS:
Liam is going through some sort of stage where he needs a great deal of attention. Perhaps due to being out of playschool for the summer. Plus his sleep always gets messed up in the summer. He's still sweet as pie, just a little more cross & needy than usual.

Tara is a happy, happy girl right now. She's already talking, hard to understand, but definatly saying a lot. She is incredibly independent. While I'm working she wonders the house singing, swaying her arms (unless it's something like eensy weensy spider than she's doing hand-motions). She's into everything. When she wants something she is fearless. Luckily, she is also cautious.

H:
He quit drinking in May & started to go to Dual Diagnosis Anonymous. Then 3 weekends ago he drank & controlled it. So the following weekend he thought he could handle it again, wrong. By Tuesday I was on the phone with Mental Health Crisis & almost has a mobile unit sent to our house. He skipped his last meeting thinking he's going to be scorned. But is determined to go tonight & deal with the consequences.

I know alcohol cannot induce mania, but is sure seemd to do something to him. The longer he goes without drinking the more stable he is. I'm starting to think he may suffer alcohol psychosis. I don't know if that would tie in with bipolar or if perhaps he's mis-dx'd. It seems to me the Seroquel & Anti-Anxiety works great for him. But the stablizer has done nothing for him. He suffers a lot of depression & his psych is under the impression he should be doing pretty good due to stablizers. His psych does not want to prescribe antidepressants due to the Zoloft incident. So I don't know what will happen here.

MARRIAGE:
I don't know where I'm at. I look at him & wonder if I still love him or not. I cannot tell. I think I've shut down my emotions & must still be in crisis mode. I do want to have sex with him, but I cannot sleep next to him right now. I don't know why? I'll wait to come to bed when I can barely hold myself erect. I lay down & pop, my brain is a whir & I'm not tired at all. I'll finally break down, go to the couch & I'm out like a light. I'm starting to run out of excuses why H keeps finding me on the couch & not in bed. Bleh.

I'm not sure if this is something to take to an IC or MC.

Bonnie




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 7:38pm
how bout cause you do all the work & wait for him to follow?how bout cause he drinks & says he won't & you've been thru it countless times?
so now youre mad as heck whether you know it or not & it hits you when youre relaxed & your defenses are down?
my husband drinks & when he does he turns into someone i don't recognise who speaks in tongues & couldn't rescue us if the house is on fire.it doesn't mean he has some sort of psychosis.HE JUST SHOULDN'T DRINK.i drank on top of my meds & was so sick i had a long talk with the Gods before i got over it.I JUST SHOULDNT DRINK.
i'm sorry,but i really don't think everything needs a diagnosis.i'm embarrassed to reveal i'm bipolar b/c i feel as tho i belong to the disease of the millenium club.
sometimes people do things simply b/c they CAN & not just because some impossible force is driving them to.
your husband shouldn't drink,period.
& starting to resent or be grossed out by someone who's behavior has been less that stellar is perfectly ok.
not everything needs a reason or a title.
as for reasons not to sleep with him,tell him he snores.i certainly don't think you need to tiptoe round someone who you live with.SOMETIMES i think people use the excuse of mental illness to behave the way they please or to keep spouses or parents at bay.